I wrote this in my journal today. How ironic. I think it fits your post nicely. I have major depression and generalized anxiety disorder.

I find it very difficult to have depression and live in a society that condemns those with mental illness. That's why it's so hard to get involved even with volunteering. There is such a stigma attached for those of us affected by this disease. Snap out of it; pull yourself up by the bootstraps; get over it; are just a few phrases that I have heard. And it's even worse after my suicide attempt. People don't realize you just need to end the pain.. It is such anguish. There is no way to describe it. I can no longer work because of depression. I have to sell my home and belongings and try to get on disability. I would be homeless if it weren't for my mother supporting me during this time. It takes months to years to get a disability hearing. That alone tells you how mental illness is put on the back burner. Why are we so ignored? We have an ILLNESS just like cancer or diabetes. Just because you can't physically see it doesn't mean it's not there.

I had a similar reaction at my work today, too. I wish I knew how to not get triggered by things, but it is absolutely impossible. And no, I don't think anybody cares anymore. But you're not alone. :) I wish you all the best. I go to therapy and it is starting to help me, so if you don't already go to therapy maybe it could help you. :) Especially someone who specializes in adults recovering from child abuse.

I thought that I was the only person that was alone with this.



ladydi1961

In some ways I would NEVER wish my experience and the trauma that came with it on anybody, but when I hear those "just get over it" type statements, I'm sorely tempted...

We mostly have to care for ourselves and in groups like this find some love and much needed validation, occasionally we find someone who has not been through a big trauma, that at least has compassion.

We are all here for you and can totally relate with your feelings.

For intention of support, have you considered another kind of job? Maybe all this change is good. Just don't give up hope. I know how hard it is to have major depression along with pms depression and SAD and maintain a profession. Sometimes working part-time helps during those rough times. It has been discovered that getting out there and doing some job/work is actually helpful to depression. I can testify to this also. The urge is to stay home. So I have to go one step at a time through the day even when I don't feel like it.

My biggest motivation is that.. I want to take charge of the depressions (PTSD triggers, PMS depression with self-reproach and self-doubt n tears, n negativity; Major depression with ADHD-which is actually a common combination). I want to learn how to manage those horrible episodes of the darkness of depression and NOT let them control me and my life.

i pretty much got fired from a job for my ptsd....i never got wrote up well at least that stuck...my boss would right me up for stupid things i would tell her boss and she would throw them out......i was wrote up for being in a gang because i ware a bandanna in the summer for my sweet.....i hated that job..well my boss got a new boss she told me that i can quit or get fired....................i thanked her for helping me get out of that hell hole

I have a job where they changed our roles a few months ago. Its a call center where we used to be primarily researchers and trainers for other associates. Then they added another component: complaint line. Now we are being yelled at all day, by people unhappy with the world in general, and who think its ok to use the most vile and vulgar language on other human beings, simply because its over the phone. well, i tried for months to use the skills i learned in therapy, but it finally came to a head. i am now out on unpaid disability, and dont know if i can go back. i think individually, people may care, but as a society or government, nothing has changed much. we just have to do the best for ourselves that we can.