Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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cutting

powerpurplewarrior
powerpurplewarrior

I'm having strong urges to cut.  I did last night and I will probably do it again when my roommate leaves.  I can't cope right now.  


I shared last week that I had new flashbacks and memories of my grandpa molesting me.  My aunt, their daughter, posted a picture of them last night and I got really really triggered.  I have several alters and the one that holds the memories for that certain event decided to come out and act out by cutting.  I didn't even know it until this morning when I was in the shower.  So I'm sorry for the post last night as I don't remember writing it. 


I don't know what to do?  I've sabatoged myself!  until last night I hadn't cut in over a year.  It seems like my alters are having some issues or I'm having the issues and they are trying to help.  I don't know?  How can cutting help me when I don't even remember doing it?  


I really need help y'all!!!!

donnawanda
donnawanda
I don't have any answers for you except to ask you to be patient and compassionate with yourself and all your alters. You have been under enormous stress with the dramatic houseguests and then that memory coming up. I think you are working something through and it's okay to slip back a little during that process. Isn't it normal? You won't lose all the ground you've gained.

Talk to your alters and ask them not to act out like that if they can avoid it, and explain why it's not good for all of you. But still offer compassion and support.
smilecuzyoucan
smilecuzyoucan
Are you seeing a professional about this? A psychiatrist/psychologist?
smilecuzyoucan
smilecuzyoucan
I know that is a pat/generic answer.
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
i agree with what donna has offered.

gentle support xo
Kate1976
Kate1976
I cut and can relate. I think the advice on working with the alters is a great idea. I understand it is very difficult but I admire your strength with the year without it. Year two starts today is my approach. I understand the family triggers as well. Hugs!!
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
My thoughts went right to what donna said, too, pp. Is there any stress you can reduce in your life right now? It seems you've come to an important point in your process and need support right now. You've got it here, that's for sure. We're with you--tell all of your alters.
Onlythelonely
Onlythelonely
powerpurplewarrior, first, don't be so hard on yourself. I understand the triggers and alters, but don't give in and think that this past year was all wasted.

Second, today is a new day and the first day of the rest of your life. Do you journal? That helps me. Write down something you want to do today, tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. Then start a new page for each. Start writing down things you can do (steps you can take) to get to each of these goals.

Third, do you have someone you can trust who you can talk to?

Fourth, have you heard of Ann VosKamp. She overcame self harm and wrote a book "The Broken Way". Please read her story. Saying a prayer for you today and sending hugs.
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