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My beloved's medical crisis appears to be past, but there remains the processing of his mother's death which happened during the first week of this crisis back in November. Alas, it is more complex than the passing of an 82 year old mother who passed after years of progressive illness. There are all sorts of mysteries hidden within the guarded fortress of his father's world, including the brother and his family on the far side of that guarded fortress and the salaried staff who officially graduated to step-family within his mother's obituary. Are we supposed to celebrate or grieve?
I remind myself it is not mine to sort. After 34 years of in-law-hood, I still do not feel like a member of that family. Methinks the step-family understands it far better than I do. They are paid professionals, after all. Still, after 34 years of affiliation, I do have some emotional involvement, if only the pain of politically correct rejection.
Again, my daily meditation reader offers me some sustaining chew food. Again, it is softly edited to fit my current day. I really believe that typing helpful passages serves to reinforce the meditation.
"In therapy I discovered that I need to make changes in myself. After a lifetime of living with a disease of attitudes, I didn't think very highly of myself, so I didn't have much faith that anything good could come out of my efforts.
"I learned better by watching my son's silkworms. Silkworms are fat and greedy creatures, but out of their own substance, they create something beautiful. They have no choice in the matter. They were born to express this beauty.
"I, too, can transform something negative into something positive; by changing my self-defeating attitudes, I become a more beautiful human being. I was born with this beauty inside me, and if I will only allow myself, I can express it freely. Therapy helps me learn to put love first in my life. And gratitude, a cornerstone of my recovery, brings hidden loveliness clearly into view.
"Today's Reminder
"Today I can spin a little silk and let it grace everything I touch. I don't have to look back to past ugliness except to learn from it, to enhance the present, and to release whatever beauty is trapped behind old secrets and self-defeating attitudes. One day at a time I can delight in the splendid person I am becoming.
"Sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness . . . until it flowers again from within . . ." ~Galway Kinnell
Just chewing...
I remind myself it is not mine to sort. After 34 years of in-law-hood, I still do not feel like a member of that family. Methinks the step-family understands it far better than I do. They are paid professionals, after all. Still, after 34 years of affiliation, I do have some emotional involvement, if only the pain of politically correct rejection.
Again, my daily meditation reader offers me some sustaining chew food. Again, it is softly edited to fit my current day. I really believe that typing helpful passages serves to reinforce the meditation.
"In therapy I discovered that I need to make changes in myself. After a lifetime of living with a disease of attitudes, I didn't think very highly of myself, so I didn't have much faith that anything good could come out of my efforts.
"I learned better by watching my son's silkworms. Silkworms are fat and greedy creatures, but out of their own substance, they create something beautiful. They have no choice in the matter. They were born to express this beauty.
"I, too, can transform something negative into something positive; by changing my self-defeating attitudes, I become a more beautiful human being. I was born with this beauty inside me, and if I will only allow myself, I can express it freely. Therapy helps me learn to put love first in my life. And gratitude, a cornerstone of my recovery, brings hidden loveliness clearly into view.
"Today's Reminder
"Today I can spin a little silk and let it grace everything I touch. I don't have to look back to past ugliness except to learn from it, to enhance the present, and to release whatever beauty is trapped behind old secrets and self-defeating attitudes. One day at a time I can delight in the splendid person I am becoming.
"Sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness . . . until it flowers again from within . . ." ~Galway Kinnell
Just chewing...
As Rosann Rosanna Danna would have said, "there's always something."
Glad you're focused on turning negatives into positives concerning this.