Telling you "it could have been worse" is both unhelpful and completely irrelevant!! No matter what, it could ALWAYS be worse, but so what? Suffering is suffering, pain is pain, and the pain of sexual abuse is enormous and deeply damaging.

Please don't stop reaching out for help. You need and deserve support to work through this terrible trauma. Therapy or counseling is best - I found a therapist by calling the phone number at RAINN.org and it didn't matter that the abuse I called about had happened 40 years earlier.

People here will not minimize your pain. We don't make those kinds of comparisons. I'm glad you found this grop and welcome you here. There is also a Sexual Abuse support group on this site and you will be welcome there also.

Welcome. Sorry for what you went through, but glad you're here. Your story of abuse in childhood your years from 6 to 15 parallels mine pretty closely as mine were from 9 to 15. That kind of PTSD has a name, "Complex" PTSD, of CPTSD. When I came here a member shared a website with me for that particular kind of childhood abuse over years and it has helped me ever since.

http://www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html#complexPTSD

Again, welcome, and please know that as Donna said, we don't compare traumas here, but accept that PTSD comes in many forms and we heal together.

Hi Aisl. Welcome to the forum.

I always find myself making superstitious gestures any time somebody tells me, "It could be worse." Of course it could be worse! Quit taunting the cosmos for a demonstration, would ya, Moron?

Pain is pain, Aisl. It exists to let us know something is wrong. Ply healing remedies here, and this forum is a good place to find some of those healing remedies. Welcome aboard.

Aisling,
What happens when we are controlled by others to doing things against our belief on any level can hurt. We didn't deserve having our personal boundaries and body violated. Too often we are too quick to self blame, mostly because we were programmed by the abuser with lies to let our resistance down..that was manipulation on their part.

Some songs say the prayers needed for me , words I am not as good as
i want to be at...yet. This one helps me, so I will pass it along to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guaG981MLoQ

Support, welcome and share when you can. Many here understand on some level as you see.
Jewell.

Thank y'all so much....I'm just now getting around to getting back on, I've been sick with a constant headache for a month now and have been going through tests etc, easier to explain in a message lol....but thank you...I've been at a very bad place lately, I feel lower than rock bottom...I've been extremely depressed, on and off of my medicines etc and I just feel at the end of my rope..

Keep on venting, Aisl. It helps to clear out the accumulated gases so that you can see what lies beneath.

Healing prayers in progress. . .

I really hope so....because I'm stuck in life and I feel I have no way out...I know that's not the truth but I can't help but believe it..that probably sounds dumb, but that's just how confused I am..

I heard a rumor once that confusion will turn even the smartest people stupid. I know, I know. . . Gossips will say ANYTHING.

Expert I ain't, but I only believe that sounding stupid is part of the confusion sorting process. Can't get the stupidity out of ^it^ by pretending it doesn't exist. As I've been told in music circles, you don't get to sound good if you aren't willing to sound bad while you are learning the song.

Be gentle with yourself. Be patient with the process. Remember to ply extra self-care while sorting confusions.

I understand....I like how you explained that, I really do like that.... I will try to be gentle...thank you.

HI and Welcome aisling..... I'm glad that you've found us.... This is a great board..... Big hug.....xo

Thank you so much! ((hugs))