Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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closed doors are among my meaner ptsd triggers. a great many of my childhood traumas involved closed doors. the majority of the psychotic breaks i have witnessed were defended by closed doors, generating distress odors like a torture chamber. personally, i run for the great outdoors to defend my own psychotic breaks. when i am experiencing psychosis, i react to the great indoors like a beaten crazy bitch wolf. it would be wise to avoid standing between me and the nearest exit.
this particular trigger has been reasonably well managed for a decade or three, but my eldest foster son (9) is setting it off with increasing intensity. his parents were both gamers and he started playing video games before he started walking. his tech savvy is impressive, but his gaming keeps him closed up in his room for most of the hours he is not in school. schools have been closed because of ice storms most of this past week. this morning when i went to check on him, the closed door smells hit my face in a hot blast. i nearly went bezerk on the open laptop in front of his still sleeping face.
plying therapy tools. . . am i making sense?
again i leave the mood icon on the rapid cycling median. lots of good stuff going on, but this is a humdinger of a flashback series.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Getting between me and an exit ends badly for the things in the way. I hate even having myb ack to one. I need a clear line of sight toward escape. For various reasons of my own.
Which pretty much means... Yeah, the closed door, the smells, the sensory dread it evokes, makes sense...
Getting between me and an exit ends badly for the things in the way. I hate even having myb ack to one. I need a clear line of sight toward escape. For various reasons of my own.
Which pretty much means... Yeah, the closed door, the smells, the sensory dread it evokes, makes sense...
the good news is that the flashback series seems to be abating. seems to be. . . again i indulge in a wish for clear beginnings and endings for these psychoweirds.
just wishing while i ply therapy tools. . .
after i regained my footing, i decided to this particular go-round like a warning. history is in the early stages of repeating itself, yet again. we got our gamer out of his virtual box for some time in real time yesterday. a farmer's market and a tour of the county YWCA. all three siblings are signed up for spring soccer season. i wasn't kidding about the need for fashion tips for a 70 year old soccer mom.
small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.
As an old bachelor with no kids, I only experienced video games and today's youth as a college professor. Now retired and in a relationship for the first time in a decade, I'm experiencing it at home in my new significant other's kids. They don't even have to shut a door, really, to shut themselves off from the world and get absorbed into games on their cell phones. We can all be in the same room and yet not be connected because each of us is looking at a screen and not at one another. Things are way different from when I was a kid, that's for sure.
move that phenom into my second parenting career in the 21st century where even pre-k students are issued laptops for their school lessons and? ? ? WTF am i looking at? are you a tech guru or an educator? i have nightmares about tech talents such as my foster son spending more time educating their teachers that vice versa. phones really are smarter than people these days. progress is as good a name for ^it^ as any, i s'pose.
but doors are low tech and their connections are pretty tough.
This being said, honestly pardon me for just making comment based on my own personal circumstance...
Closed doors only create wedge and depression in a society where doors are meant to be opened such as open and running businesses... restricted doors just mean trouble in open businesses...
I've learned to read the unwanted invitation and stay away... best to everyone and hope for open doors soon!!
i get especially hypervigilant with closed door lovers who tell me to feel free to knock. i invariably regret knocking when i take them at their word. best to leave closed doors closed and head out in search of an open door.