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Closed doors remain a nasty trigger for me. They still signal a gamut between deadly silence, emotional unavailability and rape to my flight instincts. Herstorically, they slingshot me into "Anywhere but here" mode. If I am to trust re-surfaced memories, this reaction started when I was a toddler -no shortage of stimulus for the reaction- and remains quite powerful in me.
And here I sit, behind a closed door without a car and still feeling too wimpy to brave the yucky weather outside, listening to TV through ear buds so that I won't offend my son or daughter-in-law, listening to my 18-month grandson react with the honesty I wish I could muster. Scream, screech, holler... Let us make some joyful noise!!!!
Sigh... Sure wish the sky repair crews would get here...
Wondering if this would be an opportunity to work on disarming this particular trigger.
Just chewing...
And here I sit, behind a closed door without a car and still feeling too wimpy to brave the yucky weather outside, listening to TV through ear buds so that I won't offend my son or daughter-in-law, listening to my 18-month grandson react with the honesty I wish I could muster. Scream, screech, holler... Let us make some joyful noise!!!!
Sigh... Sure wish the sky repair crews would get here...
Wondering if this would be an opportunity to work on disarming this particular trigger.
Just chewing...
Maybe the door issue is a bit like Schrodinger's cat, and that was meant both as a thought experiment and a paradox--the cat is in the box, and may be alive and dead simultaneously under quantum theory at the time---until the box is opened. OPening the box determines the cat's state... (Yes, Schrodinger meant it to be absurd, he had issues with quantum theory at the time).... But not even Schrodinger considered there was a third alternative....
As nerd-fave author Sir Terry Pratchett phrased it in a novel, the cat can be alive, dead, or bloody furious.
All of which I ramble through in my feeble attempt to say that perhaps this is not about a door being opened or closed, but a third possibility as yet unconsidered...?
That made no sense, I apologize. I am worn out. Got between my mom and my hubby and wound up with both of them PO'd at me and at each other and am seeking that third possibility myself. Tho' in my case it's the cat being bloody furious....
Maybe it's not so much a door as a wall you can move as and when you wish?
Go gentle, Arfie. Purrrzzz and blue skies to you