Here is my support, Muji, and my admiration for doing as well as you do:-)

Hell, I'd give you a kidney if I could spare it myself. Just to give you a break. I have chronic daily pain, nerve and otherwise, I know how hard it is to just function in my own home.

Big warm hugs,
Leo

Sigh.

I'm sorry, Muji. I this understand only TOO well.

Neuropathic pain is not only a bugger to live with, but the meds are notoriously ineffective, and -- by and large -- almost more dangerous than many other kinds. AFAIK, there ARE no meds FOR neuropathic pain. They're always using something else -- off-label -- to get at it.

Which -- to me -- is just a little scary, on a GOOD day. The "liver panel" decided that my story IS "drug-induced liver injury," and the culprit was Cymbalta (Duloxetine Hydrochloride) prescribed to treat [wait for it] .... neuropathic pain.

So ... yeah. I believe I understand.

This is so many different kinds of potential loss, all at once, when it happens. I know. You're watching your body betray you, yet again. You have the only-natural fear about work consequences.

You're already created a "line in the sand" (ie, an identity) that helped you benchmark that you were better than the CPTSD and better than the kidney disease, because you showed up for each game, on time, dressed, and ready to play.

[They may not have remarked, but I'd guess it was something you did for you. BRAVO for that, incidentally]

And that identity might be in jeopardy.

"Tuesdays" are a big thing with you, right now :-) There's Morrie, of course, but it's also your "Let's see what this guy's made of" Muj-i-thon day, no ?

I'm wondering aloud, here: if there were any way to tamp down the spike that Tuesday's represent, do you think it might help you, overall ??

Could you work with the school to make Tuesday less of an outlier, in terms of hours and load ?

There's so many things that can be wrong with a body, mind, or soul that respond really well to sort of regular, predictable patterns -- work, sleep, rest, play, hours, etc.

That spike .... that Tuesday Spike ... The Muji Madness Day ... I just keep wondering if it's really taking just An Awful Lot out of you.

May Providence lay a gentle hand on you, and keep this from heading downhill.

And may you dodge just one more proverbial bullet :-)

I wish you -- as always -- peace, health, strength, and freedom from pain.

Because pain -- particularly neuropathic pain -- is rather brutal.

"I this understand only TOO well. "

Let's just say I was thinking in Spanish, and that sentence didn't translate very well ;-)

I send you all I have Muji. Take time to watch some non work related movies, or go out to one that is new, something like Captain America. or Lightening Jack

Hugs, tomorrow is Saturday morning late sleep day! Stay in the jammies and sleeping cap and lay like broccoli!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYsk-w7t0LA

Thanks for the encouragement, the professional support, even the thought of a kidney. :-) And Lightning Jack, the movie! The neuropathy pain has subsided some this evening, thank God. Especially the new pain in the hands.

It went on for several days this week, more than usual. I don't know what makes it come and go, that's the mystery of chronic pain, huh? But thank you for encouraging me to get through it until it subsided and I got a break in the last 3 hours. Aaaaaaaaah. The only good thing about pain is when it stops, huh?

I know all of you, my friends, have your own pain today, too. So my awareness has been raised by my pain this week as to yours. How generous to are to comfort me when you're in pain, too! All I can tell you by way of thanks is that your comfort is really effective with me, it really works on me. I feel better tonight. I hope you do, too.

Slept for 12 hours last night. Ah, rest.

You have your color back. You were starting to look a little pale over the last day or two.

:-)

I am so glad you got some rest last night. You have had a fantastic streak! The only problem with that statement is that "streak" implies luck or fortune. In your case it was and is hard work. You made that streak happen. I know you struggle with being seen as incapable as opposed to just being human by bosses (some just have their heads in a dark smelly place). I think some of us are more sensitive to that because as children our first authority figures ( mom and dad) were abusive or neglectful or both. We could never please. If you need to take a day do it. You have earned it and at the end of the day the most important loyalty is what you have for yourself. Without that you can't be there for others.

Yay Muji! 12 Hours! WOOOOOHOOOO!

The only "bad" thing about your awesomeness is that people start to take it for granted.

Allow yourself to not be perfect. : )

It's Tuesday in a new week, and in thanks to all I thought I should report that somehow the streak of perfect punctuality and attendance on the job this semester continues. I teach 7 classes and have not missed and never been late to one once this semester, and I don't know how. Like everybody else, I'm dog tired from PTSD every day. I come home from work, eat, and fall asleep on the couch for 2 or 3 hours still.

But somehow I'm still making it to work on time every day. I honestly don't know how, but thank everybody for the wonderful support. It may go by the wayside any day, and I know it's not crucially important, but it's something to remember.

What you doing in August?...lol, train ride time?