I can. I went through a traumatic experience when i was twelve years old. As i got older i started having nightmares about it. I use to ask myself what did i do to deserve this. What did i do wrong. As time went on i realized that it was not my fault. It was the fault of the person that did this to me. Now when i wake up in the morning i look forward to next day and even the next one. Hang in there mate. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Scott

Posilutely, I can relate. In my case, I believe they are the nightmares (flashbacks?) I don't remember where I am being attacked in my dreams.

When I am having nightmares, it is typically more restful to stay awake -- until the sleep deprivation psychoses(pl) set in. Those pesky details. . .

Yes I can relate, between nightmares, night terrors & sometimes sleep paralysis where I actually feel like I’m being choked.

I’ll try to stay up as much as I can when it’s bad, but then the sleep deprivation sets in & it becomes too much.

It’s something I’m still trying to work on resolving in my personal recovery

Glad that you’re reaching out for support. I hope things get better
Sending support & strength
Big hug <3

I don't now but I have had night terrors before and they're awful.... Welcome to the board Rich.... It's great to see you here.... Big hug....xo

I have that during the day about 3 times, rich, and since a bad psychiatrist overprescribed me Seroquel and permanently damaged my kidneys, I have to get through them without meds.

TRIGGER WARNING

That's hard, because I feel pain on my body where I was tortured by a death squad, and the panic when he pulled the trigger twice with his sidearm held to my temple. The second time, I urinated my pants in fear, so now when such a panic attack comes 3 times a day or so I have to urinate, too.

My parents were already untreated and mentally ill before we spent 6 years in that war zone, so adding PTSD from the war we were in made them violent. Nowadays when I get these panic attacks 3 times a day I gag feeling where my father once tried to strangle me in one of his abusive rages. If I don't take cough medicine quickly I gag until I throw up whatever's in my stomach. That happened twice on Monday of this week so I went out and bought 3 bottles of cough syrup to have on hand next time.

I'm not much of a mystic, I'm more the realist, practical type, but since medication like Ativan is ruled out by my kidney damage, I do use meditation now in those moments I'm feeling the torture on my skin or the hands around my throat. Here it is, and I understand if it doesn't work for you. It's all I've got by day.

It's called the lovingkindness meditation from the Vipassanah Buddhist tradition: "May I be filled with lovingkindness, may I be well, may I be peaceful and at ease, may I be happy. May I have mental happiness, may I have physical happiness, may I have ease of well being." I repeat it over and over until the panic attack's physical symptoms on my body pass.

I have between 3 and 6 per night, but fortunately they've been less since 2018 when a PTSD med for combat vets that's liver-processed became available for combat civilian vets like me, too: Prazosin. It's the only PTSD med I'm allowed because of my kidney damage, but I'm lucky because it's just wonderful. They even sell it here in Mexico, I found out to my relief since I retired here last May.

This topic is a constant for me, as you can see, and it affects how practical it is for me to live with anybody else, whether just a roommate or more than that. That's why I haven't dated in 10 years and I've lived alone for a decade now.

People I lived with found it hard to understand my suddenly breaking out into a sweat or gagging for what seemed to them to be no reason. A couple of them got mean about it, which I really didn't need. It's good that folks here do understand now physical symptoms can come upon us in a flash.

i used to feel that way when I was with my abusers BUT not anymore

Glad you don't any more, rose. It helped me to write it out here because then I had a GOOD night last night. DS PTSD works.

My nightmares, flashbacks et. are all fully sensory. Feel, hear, smell, taste. It bites.