Yes I understand. Even though you may not have the full memory of what happens your body knows. Mine comes out as nausea. Even though I don't have full memory of the rape I get nausea when I start to uncontrollably remember parts that I can.It's like a movie that plays in your head that you have no control over. ((hugs)) it's stressful I know. Are you dealing with your past with a therapist? I am and its made a huge difference. She gave me breathing exercises to do when anxiety comes.

Same symptoms as you. I have a therapist helping me with dbt skills and I take meds. Between the 2 I am learning how to cope better, identify triggers and it has put me into a better place. My personal belief is that ptsd is too big to tackle on your own, you will need help. I am much better 5han I was when I was trying to do it in my own

I pushed them down one at a time for all my childhood---I could recite incidents but not feel that they happened to me sometimes---and then? Well, let's just say, going slowly is best. Take it with caution, self-care, and if you need meds, don't be ashamed ot use them. I say that because by a fluke, all *my* PTSD-causing memories? Well, about 70 percent of them came back, full-force, in about 10 seconds flat. I was in the ER after *that* hit.

if an image or word or so on triggers you, makes you anxious, write down what it is, and maye go over it with a therapist. Breathing exercises and tracking triggers is very helpful in calming anxiety, avoiding it, and of course, finding out details without the catastrophic kaboom I got.

Gentles healing to you.

yes i do understand sorry have not been around much , hugs min

I just read....about the things we forget.
Scientist actually believe that when we try to repress a painful event that if we repress it long enough...the brain actually erases the event.

So then there is no recall.....I believe this and Yes I have experienced what you are feeling as well. Which is the reason I googled the topic.

My mother always says I have a "selective" memory....not true...I truly don't remember things.

I have that as well, and I am really glad I read your post tonight because I was thinking the same thing. It is like being on a treadmill of triggers and the brain is not understanding. I am terrified of getting all memories back as I just read from Leo. I am all freaked out this weak because the cat accidentally, pooped in his crate on the way home from the vet. I am sick and nauseas about not being able to get the smell out. I can hardly focus. I know it triggers early sexual abuse but I was not even two so I don't know how it got processed. It happened over and over for year and a half, nausea is the biggest feeling I get too. Thanks for your post, it helped me and I hope you know we all care about you too

Yep, I mainly have some recurrent violent thoughts. Also displacement of anger. Random things trigger me. Its tiresome. I think im getting better,,, slowly. Isolating has helped in many ways.