Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Being intimate after assault

solicitedcrab2
solicitedcrab2

Hi, I’m new to the forum :)



I’ve been with my partner for 5 and a half years, but lately I’ve been unable to have sex at all. My trauma was triggered when I found out my ex (aka my rapist) had gotten engaged. It was definitely more triggering than I would’ve expected, and now the thought of sex with my partner just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I freeze up like I did back then, to the point where I can’t even speak. I cry so hard afterward too, like gasping-for-breath sobs. It just makes me feel so horrible, because it wasn’t always this way with my partner. He’s really sweet and understanding, but it’s getting to the point where he thinks I don’t love him and that I’m not attracted to him anymore. It kills me because that’s so not true, but he doesn’t really understand how much what happened to me affected me. I just wish I could get back to a place where I can enjoy being intimate again. Does anyone have any advise on what I can do in this situation?

SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Welcome aboard this lifeboat. The P stands for post, what happens after the trauma. Yep, your body is now reacting to the trauma following that trigger, This may be the time to seek out a therapist who deals with PTSD, and also consider where to find a group, usually through research, for rape survivors. You will get back to that place where intimacy is safe. Your partner needs to be a part of this so your partner clearly understands that this truly is about what happened to you. Healing and comforting hugs.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
As a childhood molestation survivor, I always had difficulty in this area. I took a course on psychology of sexuality, and did couples counseling through 3 relationships. It helped.

Then permanent kidney damage 7 years ago meant oxygenated blood didn't reach my extremities and the nerve endings died in all of them. All of them, yes--hands, feet and elsewhere.

I'm no less of a loving person, and in fact since physical intimacy is out, my capacity for platonic intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and friendship intimacy have really grown.

Since it seems you still have the physical ability, I'd say let your partner know that your physical intimacy is an extension of those other three, that that's how you arrive at feeling safe for it. You can be multi-dimensional about it.