Drive safely.

Gentle support, Arfie, and big love, small steps:-)

I'm not sure I understand what's happening, arfie. Are you in the midst of a dramatic permanent break with all family? Some family? Or a temporary move? Don't mean to pry, just wanting to understand. Much support to you, as it sounds profound, my friend. Thoughts with you.

Sorting through the chaos one spit soaked knot at a time. Last I heard, the DIL remained uncompromising, etc., etc. I know her closed door better than I know her, and her screams were in the tonal ranges I cannot trust myself to hear in the most tolerant of circumstances, even without the baby screaming at her knees or my son screaming in her behalf. All I know for sure is it sure was ugly and nothing has softened since June 15th when the blowout blew through. The summary I have from my son is, as I understand it, "My wife wins or you lose us all." Ain't love grand?? Confessing to more confusion than clarity.

My own husband is still not in the clear from his own near death experiences in November and December. He is better, but not better enough to fill my shoes in addition to trying to reach his retirement goals, especially since his retirement planning did not figure in supporting growing families. His first retirement option date comes up this coming December. The reigning parents are not holding a part time job between them. Nor are they understanding the benefits of housekeeping. When I brought my husband back from the pneumonia run, they complained, "5 people are harder to keep up with than 3."

May they never have to try jumping from 2 clean as you go geezers to 5. . .

My husband wants to give it a shot to guide them through this. To the best of our knowledge, code text has yet to standardize for the FIL. At least, we didn't find any "What my Fucker-in-law Said" boards. He prays his health can handle it. Me, too. His Superman complex figured mightily in to those near-death experiences. Still, I am trusting him. I have no doubt his heart is in the right place.

Will this be the end of the family? Pretty clueless here. I don't understand the present well enough to predict the future. The chaff has yet to clear. I am mostly trying to settle my share of the chaff. . .

Letting go and letting God.

Rambled around the Ouachita Mountains today. Currently chilling in Mena, Arkansas. God is good. Just look what she/he/it made. Might try to find me one of them hot springs this neighborhood is famous for.

Honestly, protect yourself and your beloved. It's the oxygen-mask-on-planes rule. You can't help anyone if you're air-deprived, so to speak. I don't know what your DIL wants to "win" here (a free ride? total control? free pass to the monkey bars?) but know we're here to support you however we can.

Yup, totally agree with Leo on this. You and your hubby need to be the priority. Your well being means everything. Love the mantra idea, too, for you to return to if you're not feeling safe or you feel a flight response kick in.

My thoughts are with you, Arfie, and I'm sending big hugs and wishes for your well being and safety.

Artie, take good care of yourself. I think that is exactly what you are doing. God's blessings and peace to you.

I hate trying to guess what is going on inside anyone else's head. My mind reading skills genuinely suck. Not that I even want to be good at it. Having other people's thoughts in my head sounds horrific.

Butttttaaaa. . .

My momsense thinks she is trying to win the courage to leave her door open and join the world outside. My psycho-analytical guess --you know, the one I know I am not qualified to make, even with non-family members-- is that she is suffering agoraphobia. At least. . .

There is not a doubt in my mind that my son and grandson love her, warts and all.

I too agree with Leo you need to protect you first. Have a wonderful trip and try not to think about it for at least part of the time. Send you love and light as you sort and chew or chew and sort.

I rescued my friend from his crazy family Olympics in Mena, last year...he hasn't got a good view of the place.

On the way there, I became lost and found Shreveport. I declared my own duchy and retreated...hey, it worked for the conquistadores.

Mena used to be a sundown town...I had no idea how long a drive it was...I let him load the peanutmobile and I proceeded to hit it around 1130 pm.

South of Texarkana, I started tripping from tiredness. All the reflectors started having looooong trailers...it was really annoying.
I made it home by dawn, there and back in about 19-ish hours, most at 80 mph. Yay for the peanutmobile!

I have wondered if the biggest problem with Boom Texas gridlock is that most of the new arrivals are trying to outrun demons. I was no exception. I was a serious pedal to the metal kinda gal when I arrived in 1977. Loved that sexy squeal from that quick and snazzy peel. I didn't go for muscle cars for the simple fact that driving other folks touched a nerve best left in my dreams. I think it likely I would have spent the rest of my life in jail if I had that much power under my foot on a daily basis. I even looked into trying to get into the NASCAR circuit, but my mechanical skills were way ahead of my fashion skills and a woman still pretty much needs a cheerleader costume to make it in NASCAR. More C and C (cleavage and cunt) than ever. . .

I can still let 'er rip at high speeds, but somewhere in my healing journey I picked up one of those comparative meditations on the diff between going fast and getting in a hurry. Any NASCAR fan can tell you that if you get in a hurry at 200 MPH, you are road kill. When I am trying to outrun demons, I am clearly in a hurry. . . Slowing down remains a critical step in my calming. I try to save fast for when I have a clear head.

Be that as it may, Austin may already be my too many Menas. . . Houston most definitely is. Has been for most of my 34 years of marriage to the native Texan who keeps baiting me back. My own in-laws live there. My own monster-in-law was already suffering Huntington's rages when I met her. I was married more than 10 years before anybody let me in on the family secret. How was it better to let me believe she was just meaner than a rattlesnake while they all tried to talk her into not having Huntington's Disease? Humans! Go figure.