Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

10,133 Members
27,621 Posts
0 Online
Anxiety Disorders
/ Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

bad news/family stuff

neocortex27
neocortex27
My grandmother had a stroke (at least the doctors think it's a stroke, but they're not entirely sure), she's in hospital. She seemed fine at first, but apparently now she's getting worse for some reason. My mother is visiting her tomorrow (she lives in another town, a few hours drive from here).

Once again, no idea how to feel about this. Worried would be appropriate, I suppose, but I've gone into full vulcan-mode, the emotional part of me is closed off right now. I know it's there, but I just don't have access. It seems wrong to me that (since it's restricted) I appear nearly unaffected, then again, this reaction makes me affected. I don't know, I don't really understand this. Not my area of expertise or anywhere near my comfort zone.
freedom15g
freedom15g
neo buddy so sorry you are having family challenges sending you support and encourage you to take good care of yourself
KAdunn
KAdunn
oh my gosh!! (hugs Neo) hope she's going to be Ok.
neocortex27
neocortex27
Thanks for your support. I suppose I do need it right now.

Lilly: During most of my traumas it was crucial for me to keep a cool head, stay calm and in control of myself, so being able to do that had a very high priority, a much higher one than the ability to deal with emotions.
I admit that I am very bad at self care. Usually I find some project to focus on and keep myself distracted until I literally pass out. I'm working on changing that, but right now I'm still lacking alternatives (any advice/suggestions?).
My grounding methods too are ones that help me distance myself and keep control. I'd probably need one that helps me keep tethered to the emotional part of me, but I haven't found a working one so far.

But it's reassuring to know that others struggle with the same and that even those without PTSD may have difficulties with this.
donnawanda
donnawanda
I can relate to this too, and your reaction makes perfect sense to me. There is an unexpected situation going on - first order of priority, freeze emotions! I did this to such an extent that I was shocked to be called "cold and unemotional" when I was so used to being told I was "too sensitive" and "Sarah Bernhardt" (an old-time highly dramatic actress). Even though this reaction might be a result of having had to keep your feelings under wraps due to trauma, it can be a useful trait to have in an emergency.

Just don't worry, because you DO have feelings and they will come out when it's safe to feel them. Don't let other people pressure you to display whatever they're expecting you to display. You do have feelings, and they are your own.
LeoX3
LeoX3
Neo, don't worry about what you do or don't feel or when, okay? So many of us have been taught *not to feel* when we should, and then we pay later, but it's not only taught. It's also, to some extent, survival mode. Your emotions can block your actions, and so your emotions go on hold till you know what action you can or will or might take. Did that make sense?

At any rate, prayers for you and yours. Purrs.
atec
atec
Hope you find out soon and hope she recovers. I was close to my grandmother and know how easy it is not to feel anything. I guess a lot of use have a shut down mode.