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confrontation is my worse, well, everything!
There is a Prize Ride this weekend that my daughter and I really wanted to go to. It is held about 10 minute drive from where the horse are with great trails. It will be about a four hour ride. It will be followed with a costume contest and then the prizes for the ride.
Well, first my SUV was down. Then my daughter was going to have to work the night before AND the night after. Lastly, she got a second day job to go along with her night job. That sort of killed going to the ride.
BUT, we had invited the woman who watches my horses to go with us. Remember my trouble with confrontations? Yeah, I suck at even just telling people things. Somehow I seem to have NOT told her it was off. Oh, and my trailer only holds FOUR horses, so where are her counting skills??? She did not know that my daughter was not coming, so with her bringing a total of three riders and horses, that would have been FIVE horses.
Ok, well, my SUV is fixed. It can pull my horse trailer to the ride. I just can't do the driving... My friend works for a construction company as a flagger supervisor and drives constructions trucks and trailers all over the place. I would trust her driving my SUV pulling my horse trailer.
BUT come to find out, she has invited people too... Grrrr, to be hauled in my trailer. She invited two other people, her hubby who I don't really know, and a woman who has VERY different ideas of horses than I do. OK, not who I really want to ride with, but friend assures me she will make sure I am fine. I set up for her to come to my house after she gets off work on Friday where she can leave her car at my house and drive my SUV with me back to her house.
BUT hubby is not one to want me to go anywhere without him or my daughter with me. Especially something dangerous like riding hard trails with idiots. It took two days for me to even bring it up to him, and three hours to talk him into it.
BUT my friend made a comment over instant message on facebook, that her hubby is going to want to take over the driving. I managed to flat tell her NO. I don't trust him driving my rig, I have never said more than a dozen words to him. What I know about him is that a local Prosecuting Attorney has put a restraining order that he is not allowed within 500 yards of his step daughter after an incident when he was drunk two years ago...(and that is ALL I know about the situation). UM.. this scares me. It actually scares me a LOT.
BUT as MIL paid $5,500 to get my SUV fixed, there has been no extras for things like gas to get out to even see my horses. I have not had a chance to get my horse's feet done. I have no idea if he is going to be sound or not... though I could use my daughter's horse.
BUT now Hubby is sure that I am best served by him driving and waiting in the SUV while we ride. That entails us getting up and out of the door by 6am to have horses loaded and moving by 7:30am. This will add a total of about two hours onto my day... but I know that hubby can help me when I need help.
BUT I seem to have not figured out how to tell my friend that hubby will drive. I am afraid that she will think I don't trust her. Not to mention that I think she is planning a 'girls night' Friday night now...
So now I have to figure out how to let her down that I am bringing hubby. I think that having hubby along is the best thing for me... he can do all of my horse grooming, tacking, costuming etc without me having to have my friend do it. I trust her, but don't know how the dynamic will change with her hubby along. At least I think it is the right decision...
No clue HOW I am going to do it. I have hidden myself into a corner.
I am not sure my SUV will do this haul - I don't want it to break two weeks out of the shop.
I don't think my horse is sound enough for this ride. I have not ridden my daughter's horse in full armor and in full costume... there is a chance that will go badly. My horse has been doing medieval games since he was started under saddle. This will be my daughter's horse's first full exposure to costumes, though all the prep work has been done.
I am concerned that the trail ride will go badly with out of condition horses being ridden by people with questionable horse skills... especially friend's hubby. I will be flying high on pain meds and unable to help with a horse emergency. I am also concerned about the mount my friend wants to bring - who is not trained for this sort of ride and has never been near costuming - and is known to buck. My friend does not want to screw up the training my daughter has been doing with my friend's main mount.
Yeah - so I am sort of doing everything possible to not think about this, but think of a way to make it easier... I wish it was just going to be me and my daughter. Second best is me and my friend. Daughter says just ride her house who will out distance them and leave that group to self destruct on the trails...
There is a Prize Ride this weekend that my daughter and I really wanted to go to. It is held about 10 minute drive from where the horse are with great trails. It will be about a four hour ride. It will be followed with a costume contest and then the prizes for the ride.
Well, first my SUV was down. Then my daughter was going to have to work the night before AND the night after. Lastly, she got a second day job to go along with her night job. That sort of killed going to the ride.
BUT, we had invited the woman who watches my horses to go with us. Remember my trouble with confrontations? Yeah, I suck at even just telling people things. Somehow I seem to have NOT told her it was off. Oh, and my trailer only holds FOUR horses, so where are her counting skills??? She did not know that my daughter was not coming, so with her bringing a total of three riders and horses, that would have been FIVE horses.
Ok, well, my SUV is fixed. It can pull my horse trailer to the ride. I just can't do the driving... My friend works for a construction company as a flagger supervisor and drives constructions trucks and trailers all over the place. I would trust her driving my SUV pulling my horse trailer.
BUT come to find out, she has invited people too... Grrrr, to be hauled in my trailer. She invited two other people, her hubby who I don't really know, and a woman who has VERY different ideas of horses than I do. OK, not who I really want to ride with, but friend assures me she will make sure I am fine. I set up for her to come to my house after she gets off work on Friday where she can leave her car at my house and drive my SUV with me back to her house.
BUT hubby is not one to want me to go anywhere without him or my daughter with me. Especially something dangerous like riding hard trails with idiots. It took two days for me to even bring it up to him, and three hours to talk him into it.
BUT my friend made a comment over instant message on facebook, that her hubby is going to want to take over the driving. I managed to flat tell her NO. I don't trust him driving my rig, I have never said more than a dozen words to him. What I know about him is that a local Prosecuting Attorney has put a restraining order that he is not allowed within 500 yards of his step daughter after an incident when he was drunk two years ago...(and that is ALL I know about the situation). UM.. this scares me. It actually scares me a LOT.
BUT as MIL paid $5,500 to get my SUV fixed, there has been no extras for things like gas to get out to even see my horses. I have not had a chance to get my horse's feet done. I have no idea if he is going to be sound or not... though I could use my daughter's horse.
BUT now Hubby is sure that I am best served by him driving and waiting in the SUV while we ride. That entails us getting up and out of the door by 6am to have horses loaded and moving by 7:30am. This will add a total of about two hours onto my day... but I know that hubby can help me when I need help.
BUT I seem to have not figured out how to tell my friend that hubby will drive. I am afraid that she will think I don't trust her. Not to mention that I think she is planning a 'girls night' Friday night now...
So now I have to figure out how to let her down that I am bringing hubby. I think that having hubby along is the best thing for me... he can do all of my horse grooming, tacking, costuming etc without me having to have my friend do it. I trust her, but don't know how the dynamic will change with her hubby along. At least I think it is the right decision...
No clue HOW I am going to do it. I have hidden myself into a corner.
I am not sure my SUV will do this haul - I don't want it to break two weeks out of the shop.
I don't think my horse is sound enough for this ride. I have not ridden my daughter's horse in full armor and in full costume... there is a chance that will go badly. My horse has been doing medieval games since he was started under saddle. This will be my daughter's horse's first full exposure to costumes, though all the prep work has been done.
I am concerned that the trail ride will go badly with out of condition horses being ridden by people with questionable horse skills... especially friend's hubby. I will be flying high on pain meds and unable to help with a horse emergency. I am also concerned about the mount my friend wants to bring - who is not trained for this sort of ride and has never been near costuming - and is known to buck. My friend does not want to screw up the training my daughter has been doing with my friend's main mount.
Yeah - so I am sort of doing everything possible to not think about this, but think of a way to make it easier... I wish it was just going to be me and my daughter. Second best is me and my friend. Daughter says just ride her house who will out distance them and leave that group to self destruct on the trails...
Wow, that was easy. Another person joined our group which meant another horse trailer was needed. So my friend asked if hubby could come and drive. Huge sigh of relief!!!
For me, when I have to do something I am anxious about, the best approach is to dive in. Like entering a cold swimming pool. Bringing a walkman CD player and my favorite CDs helps too.
Glad your SUV is fixed, but wow do I know what you mean about just trying to avoid confrontation when making plans. Sometimes for me juggling plans with people gets to be like juggling cats or something. I hope it all works out. I know how being around horses is so, so important to you. That was the original point, after all. Much support to you.
If I can't cope with the group, I can let the mare ride out - she loves to set a serious pace that most horses can't keep up with. My friend can understand that. Also, by letting her set a fast pace, I will have more than enough time to make sure that Firefly is fine with the costuming.
This means my ride goes back to being fun. I have not gotten to ride in three weeks now. I NEED this ride. I need to get lost in the feel of a horse as they explore the forest.
At least I am out of my corner...