Hello, Friends! This just seems to be the season for me to end long-term relationships that have hit the rocks! This morning I got a call from a man who used to be one of two "best" friends, Jeff, for more than 20 years. He was originally a media contractor for me when I had my advertising agency. My other "best" friend, Michael, was my commercial photographer. I met them both at the same time, and they both worked on my campaigns and knew of each other, but never met each other. Originally, my relationship with them was strictly professional.

But as my life began to fall apart, both Michael and Jeff proved to be true friends. Michael, especially, saw me through the worst of times without ever forming judgments, and always there to help me when I was in need.

My relationship with Jeff was occasionally sexual, but not with any serious intent. These encounters happened when he was between wives. But 5 years ago he began to "fade." He gave up his job as the top sales pro at our leading hip radio station and gradually became a full-time alcoholic- (in denial.) He is a very tall man- 6'7" and he had a bad fall, resulting in brain damage. His mind seems as sharp as ever, but he has become so self-obsesssed it is impossible to have a conversation with him anymore.

He drove his second wife out of her wits, and she finally divorced him. The bed wasn't even cold before he had grabbed onto another "hostage," a woman of much lesser-means than he, who would put up with his drunkeness and narcissism for the sake of his money. I cut off ties at that point, because I found it distasteful that he couldn't "man-up" and live on his own for a moment. He had the money to live well. But he had to have a victim so he could play his "helpless" role. 

This morining when he called me, drunk as usual, and driving, which he shouldn't be- because he has seizures- and rambling on and on about "poor me" etc., I just couldn't take it. He lashed out at me with a character assassination, which is the last thing I need right now. So I ended the call and I texted him and asked him not to contact me again.

I know that I am being judgmental. I know that his negativity comes from his alcoholism, because I struggle with that Demon, too. Perhaps I should be a "better Buddhist" and be more kind and understanding, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It took me an hour to restabilize my peace of mind after his call. I don't want anyone around me who is full of toxic energy. It makes me sick. I am becoming a recluse, and I know I need to get more active- but in carefully selected groups of positive-minded people.

Thoughts???