Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
So, a man at my parents' church sexually assaulted me repeatedly over five years ago. He coerced me into being a mistress for him and demanded sex acts in exchange for the lavish gifts he would give me. I broke things off when I realized I was essentially his side chick. Again, it was five years ago, but with everything I've had to deal with in the last couple of weeks...
He moved on and stopped attending my parents' church. I started back up when I felt safe to return. Today, I walked in and -BAM- there he was.
Both of my parents were performing in Christmas shows for the congregation. I wanted to see them, but the moment I saw that man's face, my blood ran cold, my heart stopped, I couldn't breathe... I just turned right around and walked straight out of the church. I did not need to see his face after what I've been through in the last week.
My mother called and was upset that I didn't stay. She got mad at me for being weak and selfish. "There are just some things you do for family!" I reminded her that I've been dealing with a ton of triggers at work this week and that freaky panic attack... She still insists it was childish of me to walk out.
This is obviously very upsetting to me. I'm just grateful I have a place where I can vent about it and not be chastised for it. I know I will eventually have to have the stones to face that man, I just don't want to do it alone. I was by myself today. I don't want to be in that position again. I dunno. It's just... So very, very frustrating.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Just my two cents...
Personally, I hope my loved ones *never* develop the insights it takes to understand my PTSD symptoms. I would never wish that insight on anyone, not even my peer supporters. I'm sorry ya'll understand but I am ever so grateful you are here for me, as we are here for you.
Continued support while you recover. Prayers that you can take back your personal power from this man.
My mother didn't care to stop him. She beat me so I wouldn't turn out "gay," then got my dad to beat me to "make me a man." She said she didn't want her reputation tarnished at church and that it would hurt my dad's ministry.
It was awful to have my family persecute me instead of protect me. It's a wonder I didn't commit suicide when she heaped more abuse on top of the rapes themselves.
Some people don't get it, pinkgnomie13, Mine didn't, so I got a counselor.
As for the pedophile, it scared me that he was still out there. Then I found out that he had been caught raping another kid, tried in court, convicted, sent to prison, and stabbed to death by an inmate.
I have to admit that I wasn't all that sorry; it actually put me at ease that he wasn't going to do it any more. Not to me, not to anyone.
Revenge didn't help my recovery, though. Only counseling did that. I recommend it for support. And you've always got the support of everybody here, too.