Speaking just for me, I think new PNA and AP tags are a good idea, arfie, along with the tags we already have like Trigger Warning (TW) and Feeling Fragile (FF) that we'd do well to get back to using more like we used to. It really helps us responders know how to approach showing our support when we craft our replies. Let's see what the group thinks.

The "PNA" was suggested by another, too often silent member of our healing community who is free to choose whether or not to take the credit. It was used quite allot for a goodly while.

The "AP" is new. Maybe just another of my neurotic brain farts, but I am running it up the proverbial flagpole to see if anybody salutes.

Thank you for the salute, Muji.

Great Ideer,arfie!

Aren't there already ROR??

Shouldn't everyone be free to tag their posts as they wish?

Equally, shouldn't everyone be free to reply...even if the reply doesn't conform with someone's tag?

Isn't that what the ignore feature is for? So that one doesn't have to see the replies of someone if they don't like them?


I have a very straight from the hip style. Flat out...I give the best ADVICE that I know.

Personally, I believe that straight out advice...from DS...saved my life. Certainly changed it's course for the better.

That said, I don't expect that everyone appreciates my style. As such I have a personal rule not to repeat that advice more than twice. Once to state my opinion, a second time to argue for it's merits, then leave it to the person to take or leave it. I also keep a mind not to "pile on". If several other people have already made my point on a thread...I leave it be.

I personally hate the whole personal experience approach. Feels too much like I'm making a post about myself, or somehow being passive-aggressive ...arguing for a point...without being clear that I'm arguing for a point.

My kids will tell you, they've never had to guess where I stood on anything. I will argue to the end for compassion, but there are things over the line (drunk driving, etc.) Same on here...I believe that I have huge compassion, but if I see someone headed for what I believe is a crash...I will tell them. And then move on. Worried that a drunk driver will crash...isn't the same thing as hoping that they will crash.

Most of life...is a whole lot more grey than a drunk driver. Most of what's posted on here...is INFINITELY more grey. I'm far from always being correct...but my "promise" is that I will never try to push my own agenda and will always give the best advice that I have.



That said...there are people who I have seen respond so much better to different approaches.



Which brings me back to what I first said...shoudn't everyone be free to post/reply as they see fit? Don't we already have ROR to deal with this?

Yes, Patti, there are site rules, frequently called ROR. I don't believe they cover these details. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Yes, we are free to use whatever terms we wish within the limits of the site rules (ROR), but a tuber is not a potato until the person we are talking to agrees on that name for ^it^. In Spanish, a potato is a papa.

I admire your advice giving talents and believe your noble intentions as well as all the other advice giving superstars on the internet, but. . . Please forgive me my days when the most accurate and golden of advice only adds to the chaos of my psychosis. Strictly personal. My handicap, not yours. Perhaps I *just* need to continue steering clear of on-line peer support on my hardest days?

Does my alcohol allergy make me more forgivable? I start vomiting long before my breathing can set off a breathalyzer.

Yeah, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't call me a superstar. Or a columnist, or whatever.


I make no claim to being a better person than anyone else on here. No better, no worse. I have my good days and bad.

More apology, ma'am. Badly said, again. . .

arfie, thanks for braving thru it with the share and bringing up a topic that needs a talking. Those are very useful abbreviations.

Patti, shooting from the hip has a place in human relations along worth other interactive"styles".

Freedom of speech isn't part of therapy. This is a PTSD healing site. A person is entitled to state what responses they don't want on their post. And we should abide by it.

Abusers are often blunt with the abused. So that is a style we should exercise caution with.

Thank you, Lukas. When I am trapped in a cesspool, rocks of rightness, whether shot straight or cockeyed, only splash up lots of shit. I didn't ask to be trapped in that cesspool. Just trying to find my way out.

Got a towel?

Straight shooters --by that very name-- and folks with other names for everything are well represented in my kiddie whorehouse conditioning. Funny how triggers work. . . All it takes is the reminder, especially through the anonymous filters of cyberspace when I am already spinning through psychosis.

@Lukas,

Very true, people can use their words to be cruel.

That's not what I'm talking about.

This post isn't about one asking about what one wants for a response, but rather about changing the basic ROR for all responses.

Maybe take some time to read what I write??

Pattis advice is always appreciated by me but only because she’s the type of person who allows us to ask questions and she doesn’t shut down the convo if our feelings are different from hers. This has been my experience in just the few occasions she’s offered advise I didn’t understand didn’t want or whatever. I will say however that I’m all about what Artie just posted because I am that person who sought a place to put my word vomit and couldn’t stand hearing more noise. That’s all it is, noise. Being in the midst of trauma, PTSD symptoms were raging and not a one of you felt safe. I literally set a boundary asking people not to give advice and someone who’s been around forever messaged me telling me I shouldn’t post if I don’t want advice so I’ve posted very little. I don’t come here for advice. I love the insight from your own stories but advice is not something I’m here for. I’m here to heal and healing comes from within. That’s my two cents. I won’t debate. Most people are not as reasonable as Patti. Not to toot her horn or anything. She’s human. She’s really a great member but I think there is a time and a place for advice and if someone says none please we need to respect that and know that it’s not about us at all - it just means they can’t tske anymore input and all the need is a pat on the back and a messsge that says we are here.

Thank you, Marah. I am more than a bit stricken that this post has become about one cherished community member. It was certainly not my intent. I hate it when my bestest intentions pave yet another road to hell.

I have been feeling a bit better about the thought that healing is not a democracy. I do not believe any of our wounds were inflicted by popular vote. Every case is unique and healing takes what it takes. Not even the patient or the greatest of doctors gets control over that unpleasant fact.

Dunno. . . Avoidance is often an effective tool, as well. The net is as the net is. Take it or leave it.

Since the Rules of the Road were referred to here, here's the link to them:


https://support.dailystrength.org/hc/en-us/articles/207778973-What-are-the-Rules-of-the-Road-

I think that the abbreviations are great..... I know FF and TW but I'm not familiar with the other two

For me the only problem is memory..... I do think that it's a good thing for people to ask for what they need

If a person writes " all I want from you is support or a hug" I get it

I don't know if I will remember the abbreviations for a while ….. What do the other two mean ??…….xo

PNA (Please No Advice) was proposed several years ago by another community member who has chosen to stay out of this fray. It was used by a number of us for a goodly while, but. . .

The other one doesn't matter. I believe the group consensus has voted it down. Just another of my dysfunctional brain farts. Not the first time I've been voted down since I worked my first DOD internet in the 70's