damage inflicted , I think of all of us as children and how much damage was done we are the ones who are stuck with fixing it,, I have been hard to be around many times being in protective mode for so long,, fight or flight I can do damage there,,, so the only way I can fix the angry part of me who wants to get even and lash out when hurt,, or offended or slighted or judged is to go to a meeting to be part of the human race,,, and sometimes all I can do is,,, keep that part of me at the gym or in the house ,, so angry about rape other things I just have to force myself to do things unseen to keep me good ie helping strangers giving donation to ORPHANS PROMISE and other charities that help those who have had crimes done to them I felt a lot kinder before my assault,, getting the woulds healed helps my heart,, cannot say much more ,, I have hurt others unintentionally when in fight flight seeing trespases that are not really there just a trigger of something the predator did keeping my soul good is a challenge when I have had so much done to me but I have to do that daily prayer asking forgiveness does help me but action speaks louder than words amends don't have to be direct ,,,, just my 2 cents

Started writing a novel of a comment and decided I'd better open my own thread because I have no idea whether anything I said is relevant to the subject you had in mind or not.

Amends... That's one for AA? I dunno. Amends to me is amending the behavior pattern so it doesn't repeat if it's a behavior pattern. If it's a broken glass, I offer to buy a new glass. On some level, that early Catholic childhood stuff has it all "organized" for me. Articulating is difficult.

Amends is... if you cannot fix what was broken, then be in service to the repair of hearts or souls in need, via volunteering at homeless shelters or similar actions. If you cannot repay amends directly, then indirectly. Not as penance, but in a spirit of giving what your deeds may have taken from others.

That said, I often find so little positive in myself that I walk around apologizing and trying to make amends for my existence. Work in progress on that one.

But I don't feel the universe owes me amends or an apology.I think my mom currently does. And I know my dad's fam is full of people who wonder why the cosmos hasn't magically made iit all up to them. What "it" is, who knows? They never did say.

Provocative topic. Thanks, Arfie.:-) I needed this. With the whole Mama Drama in my home, where are my apologies and amends to go, and for what, and to what extent? You're articulating it for me, and I am grateful.