I do not know how to be good in this world. I do love God and I hope in eternal life,but how do we continue to walk this earth with such incredible heart ache and deseption? One of the biggest commendments is "love your neighbor as your self." I could never understand that when I did not have love for myself and feared people. I hybernate in my house day and night. I go to church and therapy. That's my life. So far away from the enthusiatic young girl full of dreams on that day at age 7 that I knew God was real. His angels song over me in church. i wanted to live for God! BUT evil was determined to destroy me. I couldn't begin to tell you how often God rescued me from deaths grip. Now God has to escue me from myself destructive habits and desires. I do pray every night that God's grace would sustain my life and He would not give up on me. I hear the enemie. How he tares me down all the time. That's why I want to die. I want to hear God's voice again and be in the beauty of His Love. I am tired of fighting this world. I have no interest in it any more. I wish people were nicer. Anyway thanks for letting me rattle on...I appreciate these groups! God bless all those who are struggling tonight!