Thanks for writing this post, im interested in the replies u get as i would like help with this too. Gentle hugs.

((((( lilmissy ))))))

i'm sorry you have a tough time relaxing,letting go..you too,aspie...

my pdoc/tdoc told me i can't sleep probably due to surges of adrenelin...so i can relate to your feeling like you are in a constant state of hypervigilance....

Sometimes during the night i will put a mud mask on and sit and relax...that helps me.and very cold ice water helps to ground me...

sorry i don't have a lot of suggestions...i have trouble with this too..i call it my "permaclench state"...can't let go...

i am sure others will come along with their ideas...

(((((( Healing Hugs )))))

The only way I can ever get my mind to relax is by doing an activity that completely occupies it such as crafts, knitting, drawing, reading in a quiet are with no distractions. These things take 100%of my focus to do well, so worrying about my surroundings becomes more of a background thought. I also struggle with hyper vigilance ESPECIALLY in public places. So before I know ai am going to be somewhere that will trigger my like that I try to relax my brain and do these things. I really hope this helps a little. Even if you aren’t super into arts and crafts, they may help anyways. hugs hugs hugs xxx

The only thing that ever worked for me was Buddhist meditation, and I'm a Christian hospital chaplain, not a Buddhist. But I signed up for classes at my local bookstore and kept up the practice weekly for 5 years, until I moved away to take another job. The kind I learned was in the oldest Buddhist tradition, the Vipassana tradition, known as "lovingkindness meditiation." I needed that kind to balance out the hate I was raised in.

I learned to sit on my cushion, and in rhythm with my breath, I learned to say:

"May I be filled with lovingkindness, may I be well, May I be peaceful and at ease, may I be happy. May I have mental happiness, may I have physical happiness, may I have ease of well being."

Then I said it again for someone close to me, and lastly for someone far away. Sometimes I said it for an enemy or someone who made me anxious, so I could have calm concerning them, too.

Later, during my 10 years as a hospital chaplain, I would say it between patients' rooms on my rounds before going in to talk to each patient. Now I say it between classes I teach.

It's what grounds me. Here's another version, lilmiss.

https://jackkornfield.com/meditation-lovingkindness/

I count. Over and over. I suppose it is a form of meditation because it is slow and focused. I always count to 50 and then start over of I have not calmed down

My old GP swears by Mindfulness..... she told me that it had gotten her through some really rough times due to coming from a communist country

I've not gotten into it but I imagine it could really help.... It would just take some practice

I think exercise not just before bed but earlier to use up some energy might be helpful

When I was first told about how to practice meditation it was as warrior wrote counting.... If you lose your place just start again

Gentle hug.... I struggle with anxiety at times as well and it sux...... xo

I think it depends on the person and the moment. I sometimes will be able to handle aromatherapy and other times not. I have a warm shoulder wrap that can be heated in the microwave that I like from time to time. Sometimes sounds of gentle rain will help. Sometimes counting or a distraction like reading will help me.

I hope you find something that helps. Hugs.

For me the two DBT skills i learned that help me the most are STOP and TIP.

S- Stop and dont let your emotions control you or take over
T- Take a step back, think about how you are breathing as well
O- Observe whats going on not only around you but inside you
P- Proceed Mindfully and with Wise mind (wise mind is equally using emotional mind and reasonable mind not letting either one take over but using both equally)

Tip is

T- Temperature change (putting your face in a bowl of cold water or for me since im on beta blockers thats not safe so they have me put a cold wash cloth on my face)

I- Intense Exercise ( if this is an option)

P- Progressive Relaxation (you tighten up each muscle face included for about 5 to 10 seconds then let it go you go thru your whole body)

I hope this helps!

Sending out my support, it's a challenge for me at times.

I am usually stressed but one thing that helps at times is to watch my breathing find a comfort rhythm and pay attention to were I my tense in my body and relax those areas and keep breathing deeply and as slowly as is comfortable

Thank you for the support & advice tools, I really appreciate it
& sorry to all that can relate, we sure are strong aren’t we
Big hug to everyone <3

Hello lilmissy,

I have a few.

FOR WHEN I CANT BE TOO MOBILE;:
whatever position I am in standing, sitting, or laying down, I remain that way. I usually will put music on or put it in my head by humming something to myself. I close my eyes and I take an inventory of my body. Start where there is the least tension or pain, and go through those parts first, because it should begin the body's relaxation so that by the time you get to the painful or tenser parts they are less so and easier to make more relaxed also.
when you focus on a part of the body make mental notes about it. lets use hands as example. Are your hands hot, warm, cool or cold. take you thumbs and run them across the fingers of the same hand, feel the sensation and feel the texture of the skin and maybe even feel slightly the grooves of you finger prints. are your muscle and joints of the hands stiff, in pain tense. flex and unflex your fist note how it feels, and maybe shake them from the wrist gentle to relax them and circulate blood through them. when you have noted all you can about you hand and fingers and fingernail etc. move on to another body part. this is time consuming, it is a form of mindfulness and you usually relax or fall asleep doing it if you are laying down before you complete the entire body.

I use creativity as another relaxation tool. When you are stressing, pretend you have a bunch of children sitting around you who are a little afraid. Make up a story and tell it to them to soothe them :) this works well me~

I do a meditation in what ever position I'm in, with breathing. I find a pattern of deep breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth that I like and then I attach two mantra phrases that work for my situation. I change them up depending on what is making me stressed. Lets use the one I use I'm afraid. When I inhale I think to myself "breathing in safety" when I exhale I think "breathing out irrational fear" ( or just fear if its real fear)

and I do it till I feel better or switch to another tool.


I also use a writing technique: fold a paper into three columns, center column is for things that are on your mind, thoughts! the left column is for negative effects these thoughts have on you and the right column is the positive.
you make the list of thoughts first and then go back and do the negative effects and then do the positive. everytime you put the positve in look at the other two columns and decide if the positive out way the negative if it does cross it out. and do this for the whole list. The ones that remain are thoughts that you don't benefit from cross off any that you know you can let go of with out trouble, what ever remains becomes the subjects of those breathing meditations with the mantras :)

try those let me know if they help triple hugs of support~

I understand hypervigilance and an overactive mind at times. When I find I'm too hyped up I have to set aside time to journal all my anxieties then I give them to God. Really, I can't fix anything with my worrying so I set aside that time to do the little I can, then when those thoughts come at me during other times I tell them 'no' and do my best to busy myself with something productive. Working out and like swimback said finding a creative hobby channels that energy into something good and you end up with a nice result! Hope you are helped.

I second meditation. I've discovered that mindfulness, meditation, and yoga breathing are extremely helpful for me. I breathe completely in through my stomach then continue breathing in through my chest and release it and I do this for 20 to 30 minutes. We can't really control our thoughts. But what we can do is watch them and separate ourselves from them to some degree without judging ourselves or our thoughts.. Noticing them and acknowledging them without judgment can be helpful. This is part of mindfulness too. I think it might be a more advanced level of mindfulness. It can be a challenge at first. But everything takes practice. You can also sit and pay attention to your surroundings. The surface you're sitting on or laying on, the temperature in the room, the light in the room, sounds you hear outside or inside the house or the room. Taking notice without making any judgements is part of mindfulness as well. Google mindfulness and yoga breathing and you might find some useful information that way.

Thank you <3