Nightmares as a traumatized teenager led me to Excedrin PM and Unisom; eventually, I was taking up to 8 tablets to fall asleep. I remember mixing in some leftover prescription pain killers left over after a surgery, waking up with a rapid heart beat, but I loved the “down” and the blackout of nightmare-free sleep. I was able to quit on my own when my stomach hurt from this habit and focused on college. 

After a new trauma in three years ago, many of the same issues resurfaced. 

Klonopin has been a great medication to stop the night terrors, but there is the temptation to mix with Excedrin PM is great. I’m using melatonin gummies to avoid this, fairly successfully, but I’ve also become a bit of a binge drinker lately. Socializing in my city usually takes place at breweries or bars and a few drinks takes away my fears of being rejected by friends or acquaintances. (I’m married, so this isn’t about romantic rejection). 

Thinking about going back to therapy, I suppose