Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I was beaten into submission by my father upon him figuring out I was seeing a man outside of my race. He pointed a shotgun in my face and made a promise. "Ill shoot you girl, don't think I won't."
He kept me captive for several days after, keeping the world from seeing my bruises and scrapes and cuts. And tears. I cleaned the house for two of those days, outside labor for another 2. It was August in Mississippi, absolutely grueling work for a 16 year old girl.
I returned to school after several days, days in which I've partially removed from my memory. I immediately reported to my biology teacher that I think I was in need of medical attention- I thought my nose was broken. So did she.
She called the nurse. She called child protective services.
The social worker asked asked more questions about the bruises on my face than my classmates did, but I relayed back the rehearsed phrase "I'm super clumsy, I wrecked my bike. Life is great here, thanks for asking." I was too scared of the .22 that sat sparkling in my dad's room.
Its been two years since. I still look at my father as if he's shoving a gun in my mouth, because mentally, he is. He fantasizes about pulling the trigger. I guess we do have something in common. I wish he'd do it too.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
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Well, good morning to you!Today is National Roller Coaster Day. Are any of you going?It's also National Tell-A-Joke Day! Come up with some and share!I'm not bright with jokes these days, but I'll start:"Today I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon...I'll let you know." :D
Yup, that would be a most memorable "lesson." Now to figure out what you "learned" from ^it^.
Gentle support while you sort. Hope healing happens here.
Welcome aboard.
When I was in high school, as I've written about here before, my father put bars on the windows of my bedroom so I couldn't escape and began beating me in there, kicking in the door if I locked him out. He would blackout in rage during these beatings that would leave my blood on the walls, then not remember what he'd done even though the blood evidence was there.
Then he introduced a shotgun into my room, keeping it under my bed. It was as if he wanted for it to be there for deadly escalation in one of his blackouts. I didn't want to have it used on me and I didn't want to use it, either.
My best friend at school then went through a shotgun incident in his home. His father was in the bathroom shaving one morning, and his wife just appeared in the doorway with their family shotgun and killed him with it. I went to his house right after it happened and was his companion through his mom's arrest and trial..
It put the fear in me, so four months before high school was supposed to end for me, I took my high school diploma early and started college early in mid year in January just to get out of my home. My dad's rages got worse over the years and I found out he was untreated with a mental illness. Eventually I couldn't go home for Christmas any more as an adult because he was violent on holidays.
Take good care of yourself like I did, ok? However you decide to do it is up to you, but do put your safety first. Let others help you because you deserve it.
Shame on him....
This is a good board with wonderful people.... I am glad that you're here.... Gentle hug.....xo
Some people just don't deserve to be parents.