The post about goals here set me to thinking that it was time for me to take stock of 2016 and look into 2017 now.  As the year ends, have my requests for strength been answered in 2016?  If so, what did I do with the daily strength people here gave me?  For what purpose do I now ask for strength for 2017?

Looking back on 2016 I see that I set travel goals a lot.  That way at work I would have an actual date to look forward to.  Right now I'm enjoying a discount getaway trip just 2 hours from home.  New Years I go see some friends play in a band 45 minutes from home.  After New Years 2017 comes the big one:  a trip to Mexico I planned for myself last summer, in July.  I'll be scouting one of the towns recommended to me for retirement.  Then in February 2017 I organized for a little group from work to go with me to see Arlo Guthrie in concert.

I haven't planned March and April 2017 yet, but I'll keep an eye open.  Trips give me movement to look forward to when at work I stand my ground and keep my head down to get to work day by day with Daily Strength.  They are my getaway payoffs for keeping things chill.  They keep me out of the old entanglements with my family of origin and other dysfunctions I'm used to playing dramatic parts in.  Instead of playing dysfunctional bit parts in the trauma drama of other people's lives, I stick instead to being stable one day at a time to be a non-anxious presence in my own life.  

My long term goal is picking where I want to live when I retire in 3 years.  No disrespect to any friend here who is on disability--seriously.  It's just that I came within a whisker of leaving the work force before I was prepared to in 2012.  PTSD was bad enough, but now kidney disease had me, and I had taken too many sick days.  That's why the disability officer from work was in my office ready to end my working days and do the paperwork.  I didn't want to do that quite yet.  The wolf was at the door, but I stood my ground and fended the disability officer off to buy some time.  Then I decided to give being present at work an extra push with Daily Strength that I didn't know I had in me.  I made the decision that I didn't have to shine or win awards, just to be that guy, that guy that suits up every game day.  

It turns out that in 2016 I haven't been the one to shine or win awards after all. What I did do was get through with another year approaching early retirement age working toward age 62 to call it quits on my terms.  That's all I want--the daily strength to call my own shots.  It doesn't look like much  to others, I get that, but it's everything to me, absolutely everything.  It is my secret miracle.  Picking where to retire is my reward for giving it that extra push to show up, no matter what, starting in 2012.  A push to be present that came from God knows where.  

God only knows.  Methinks it came from being present first at Daily Strength every day.  I came here to DS PTSD in 2012 as my Hail Mary pass promising myself if I came here, dipped into the pool of support here, gave back here in turn, I could find the guts in me then to be present at work no matter what.  Now I have been present here every day since and I haven't taken a sick day at work in 2 and 1/2 years.  

Holy cow!  Being present at DS every day is the only thing I can think of that I did differently to get that presence record at work accomplished, so I have to give Daily Strength credit where credit is due.  

Was there a secret miracle in anyone else's life in 2016?