I am afraid to trust...anybody.

Yep, I live alone, and as to what you say about friends, well, that's why I hang on to old friends. My college roommate class of '79 was just here to visit me from across country. He knows my history, plus his wife has PTSD, so his visit was great. It's hard to find a new friend who will learn my history and what PTSD is, so I feel blessed. I'm going to visit him July 4th.

I feel this way too.

i would not say i am lonely but i find it hard to trust people also. i've done a really bad job keeping friends around.

no need to be sorry

I feel lonely even if I'm with people. If I've had a really good time, I feel sad afterwards. The childhood loneliness doesn't really go away.

Growing up in the back of a station wagon with 10 siblings helped me develop the art of being alone in a crowd. Yes, I find it hard to connect.

Got no problem with trust, though. If you are human, I trust you to be unreasonable, self-centered and abusive. I am rarely disappointed on that score.

And don't hand me that stuff about finding what I look for. . .

Welcome back, Alex. I missed you.

When you have issues with trust, yeah, friendships are tougher. I was lucky enough to have some good examples in my early life, and to have friends who shared the trust issue, so we wound up bonding and trusting each other over how little we felt we could trust *others*. Thirty years later, still close friends.

Healing blessings.

It's not just you; I also have difficulty developing friendships and connecting with people.

I don't think it's that you're not good enough though. You are amazing! I think it's that they are not good enough to see the good in you, and it's their loss. I think it'd be more lonely to be around people who aren't really your friends, than to not have those people around in the first place.

I sincerely hope you find comfort and begin to feel less lonely.

Alex, I am glad you posted too, I have missed you.

I have real trouble making friends too. been noticing though that the people who are put in my life, sort of end up becoming friends? the ones who care and stay. like the person who came to live here and be my support person - it was as much to help him and his son - that's how I felt about it, as it was to help me. I hoped things would work well and we would all be comfortable together and be together for a long time. well, it is working out and now, it is beginning to feel like a sort of a friendship.

I think of you as a friend too. just wanted to tell you that. extra hugs