Awareness is always my first step toward alleviation, Violet. Great awareness here. A very solid first step, followed by another solid step in sharing it. Way to go!

I like to take time to digest new awareness. It helps me keep my actions more focused. Small bites and long chews.

What else have you noticed about it?

That's all so far. I am still freaked out by what happened. Will it happen again? I can still rember how hard it was to breathe and how fast my heart was racing. And how the room was spinning. I honestly thought I was going to end up passing out between the hyperventilating and the room spinning. I honestly said to myself I wished I had then if be out of my misery for the night.

Ah, for want of a crystal ball that will tell me the future! I don't get to know which events will repeat, which are isolated incidents or which have finished their repeat cycles.

All seem to agree that the healing of psychic injuries is unique to each person and the process is even more mysterious than dreams. If this is the first time you have experienced this, it is possible that it will be a one-time event and processing it through to the end will keep it a one time event in your own healing process. I am pretty convinced (proof currently unavailable) that flashbacks, et al, are part of the healing process. Kinda like T-cells amassing en force at a physical wound.

Keep processing, Violet. Worry about repeats IF they happen.

I will. Thank you. That helps a lot. I am scared and think I scared my camp counselor in the process too.

I agree with Arfie. IF it repeats, then worry. Otherwise, hey, you know it's your PTSD at work, that you recognized that it is related to the time on the clock (maybe cover the clock so you don't know?) and that you have a tiny piece of the puzzle to ponder.

And don't push yourself. Take it slow. baby steps. Hurt can happen fast, but healing is always slower, so it's okay.

Gentle vibes,
Leo

I normally am on my phone at night so I constantly can see the time. I am trying to heal. But it's hard to do when I can't get professional help.