I'm sorry, Blue.

If the sinus issues didn't already have you tired ... those buried (, awful, horrifying) memories coming back to haunt you surely would.

Feel better.

That was brave and strong, BD. Now curl up and rest a bit, okay? Gentle hugs.

Deeply disturbing as it is, at some level there must be some satisfaction at taking action in the present against a haunting memory, blue, so good for you. Hope you can get rested up now.

Good for you.
People think things like that do not do much.
And due to when it happened and the stats of limitations maybe there is not much that can be done in many cases.

But imagine if the millions who have been abused and never got justice e mail the FBI, sent letters to politicians.....maybe the laws of status of limitations would change.

Got the dirty work done which was brave. Now it's time to be nice to yourself.

I'm honestly just wanting a reality check.
Statute of limitations is out. This was done* on film*, even, IIRC.
I imagine that porn in general and THAT sort of porn also took a giant leap in supply when VCR recorders and tapes became more available...
Thus, a recording with a film original, even if recopied onto VHS and then made into digital format? That will be unusual. It's going to stick out in porn pile, so to speak, forensically. It may have been seized early on, even. They might have it on film.
...I always, always wonder if some of what's coming out of my head is fabricated? Since last year's stuff has...involved this heavy-duty layer of weird, I am looking for any circumstantial evidence.
Since pedos apparently network and pass copies around of their stuff?
Chances are my " stuff " ended up in a busted person's stash...and was then archived by the feds...if the film ever existed.
I think it did exist. I suspect copies were sold. That stuff was worth money-and that film was made right around the time when the job market in that region went belly-up.
If every guy got a copy, someone sold copies, undoubtedly, out of hardship if for no other reason.

What kind of response did you get from the FBI? What did they tell you as far as what to expect from them, or is it a one-way communication so far?

Whatever happens with it from here, blue, you took an important step toward taking your power back. Yay you!!! I am proud of you.

And now you deserve a well-earned rest. Taking power back will definitely wear a body out. Rest well.

No response so far.

...I did just email a federal agency about a non-emergency issue on a Friday, though... I think we all know how THAT works...

Give them a week, send a follow-up, on a Monday morning, methinks, if I hear nothing?

Good for you, that was a big step to take.... I think that was an act of you taking the power over him (psychologically) and helping to heal from what happened in general.

The FBI does have a database of every piece of media ever seized in arrests and/or investigations - this is done initially to search for possible current/unknown minor victims and then used as evidence against the perpetrator.

If they are able to identify you against photos of yourself at that age, you can then sign up to be notified every time the "media" of you is seized and identified in any open investigation - they do this so you can file a civil suite against the person that gets convicted with possession of it (if they get convicted) and get monetary compensation - they allow anyone to be sued even if they simply possessed it and had nothing to do with its production (strange laws, but that's the way they do it)... The DOJ who administrates that process for the FBI warns you that you might get a Lot of notifications - so you are right that the pedophiles share it with each other,

You might recall that years ago I investigated this issue since I was a subject of "media" of that type that was seized many years ago, but unlike you I didn't have the strength to follow thru with the FBI

My therapist warned me that I might be further traumatized by finding out how many people had that stuff (of me)... but maybe in cases where you are unsure if its really out there (as in your case), finding out for sure might allow you to prevent your thoughts about it since you will no longer question its existence and/or confirm that your memories are correct.

message me if you have any questions, I did a lot of research about this after hearing a story about it on a talk radio show..

Hi. Although our life's nightmares may be different... I have a "State Agency " investigating the "Psycho" who "Used and Abused me" sending positive thoughts and prayers to you ! Blessings!
MJ

You should be proud of yourself for taking the step that you did. I can't imagine how hard all of this had to be. I am very sorry this happened to you. I hope the FBI can help bring you the justice that you deserve. That had to be emotionally exhausting, so I hope you are able to take a nice healing break. Many Blessings to you Blue.

Getting money never hurt...especially money from creeps. :)

...but I would REALLY want to locate the other kid used in the film, and split the $$$, because he deserves compensation also. I *think * I know who he is, but I am not sure, and was unable to establish contact, so far.

As I said, though, just knowing it exists and that I'm not making it up wold be nice. I repressed it, so having it ome out now? Really weird.

I am prepared to believe myself, but corroboration...feels important enough to try for it.

My folks tell me that we were building up to this. Why I had a meltdown over misplaced keys, part of why I quit my job, part of why I freaked out on the hapless guy.

DID... I am not in charge of the decisions made in my own head, thankyaverymuch...
I get to watch the blinking lights, butnI don't access the master controls...Yuppers...

Hugs! Good for you in taking a step. I wish I was half as brave as you are! Stay strong and if you need to talk, I'm just a message away! xx