Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Apparently guy thought I was being angry this last couple of weeks...I was being frightened.
The past week has been revealed as a mutual trigger-spiral.
I thought I needed to end it...but I felt like I was ripping my guts out...so I kept talking.
We figured it out now.
...we both agree we never, ever want to go through something THIS awful again. We are figuring out ways to prevent that.
Plane tickets are canceled...miss him, but I am feeling awfully chaotic, need to get in school anyway, so maybe a good thing?( Figuring out I really do have upwards of 30 alters over a weekend? Fun, yeah?)
Hope to visit right after Christmas.
We are both mutually going to work on ourselves to prevent this from ever ever recurring....and I am going to get a full computer up again, so we can video call again.
Feeling flattened. Bed now.
The past week has been revealed as a mutual trigger-spiral.
I thought I needed to end it...but I felt like I was ripping my guts out...so I kept talking.
We figured it out now.
...we both agree we never, ever want to go through something THIS awful again. We are figuring out ways to prevent that.
Plane tickets are canceled...miss him, but I am feeling awfully chaotic, need to get in school anyway, so maybe a good thing?( Figuring out I really do have upwards of 30 alters over a weekend? Fun, yeah?)
Hope to visit right after Christmas.
We are both mutually going to work on ourselves to prevent this from ever ever recurring....and I am going to get a full computer up again, so we can video call again.
Feeling flattened. Bed now.
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Well, good morning to you!Today is National Roller Coaster Day. Are any of you going?It's also National Tell-A-Joke Day! Come up with some and share!I'm not bright with jokes these days, but I'll start:"Today I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon...I'll let you know." :D
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Woke up feeling very emotional and about to clock in at my place of employment. And can't place it all in writing but not been a good experience with my store manager or his boss. Defamation of my character is a concern. I've been losing appetite and weight. Trying to perform at work to keep myself from hospitalization as a result of toxic masculinity.
My 35th wedding anniversary is next month. Every year I offer hubs a divorce for the anniversary present. He offers one in return and we discuss it as a very real option. Don't think either of us are going to take that option this year, either. Painful as the bad days are, we still value the bond. Neither of us is perfect, but we still believe we are perfect for each other.
Gentle support while you explore your own unique path, blue.
Yep, perfection? Pfft. Compassion, compromise and mutual goals? Oh yea:-) And you didn't spend money on "Marriage for Dummies" or therapy like I had to!:-)
Supportive vibes, BD.
What a great way to take care of you! Whoot-whoot!
I know I'm going to say stuff you already know, but I'm going to say it anyway: communication is key to preventing this happening again. From what you say, bf had a whole scenario running in his head for a couple of weeks and when he asked you that "trick question" it was a test that he had you primed (in his mind) to fail. So you need to make communication so frequent and routine that this can't happen again. You probably need a way to check in with each other, and maybe even explicitly ask, "What aren't you saying?" Because when you've been hurt as badly as the two of you have, there is so much that it doesn't even OCCUR to you to share with another - you are so used to taking care of yourself and managing your relationships vs. actually relating. I know all this first hand!
Big hug, Blue. I'm very happy for you. You are a rare and wonderful person - you can pull this off, if he's willing to do his part, too.
I hoped you guys go through it. And your relationship gets stronger by it.