Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Here's my problem,
I am quite lonely, but those people in my life either are toxic, inaccessible, or don't/can't understand my struggles.
Specifically, I am married, but my husband gets spooked by my PTSD struggles and tends to take things very personally (if I'm irritable, or sad etc). He loves me very much but doesn't understand no matter how much I try to explain.
My father has always been very depressed and I have to constantly "manage" him when he visits, it's exhausting. I have to keep up the mood, conversation etc, or he mopes and says no one likes him.
My mother is NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and borderline, with no boundaries at all and is completely toxic to me. It's all about her, everything is about her, she thinks she IS me half the time and I basically don't exist as a distinct person to her. It's all drama all the time. She will visit for 3 to 4 hours and I might not say a word the whole time as she prattles on and on and tells my son to call her momma...oops gramma. Yeah, I know.
Then there are my 2 friends, one in Chicago (I'm in Ohio) and another in Ohio but an hour and a half away, so I don't get to see her.
I'm a stay at home mom, so I don't have the opportunity to meet friends at work, I have 2 Masters degrees and live in a small town where that is seen as strange, and I'm terrible at small talk so I don't exactly make a lot of friends here (if you want a debate or a good academic discussion, I'm in, though that is odd here too).
So my question here is, am I missing something? Does everybody with PTSD struggle with being so lonely or is it just me? Is there anything to be done about it? Or am I just too different than everyone else?
I am quite lonely, but those people in my life either are toxic, inaccessible, or don't/can't understand my struggles.
Specifically, I am married, but my husband gets spooked by my PTSD struggles and tends to take things very personally (if I'm irritable, or sad etc). He loves me very much but doesn't understand no matter how much I try to explain.
My father has always been very depressed and I have to constantly "manage" him when he visits, it's exhausting. I have to keep up the mood, conversation etc, or he mopes and says no one likes him.
My mother is NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and borderline, with no boundaries at all and is completely toxic to me. It's all about her, everything is about her, she thinks she IS me half the time and I basically don't exist as a distinct person to her. It's all drama all the time. She will visit for 3 to 4 hours and I might not say a word the whole time as she prattles on and on and tells my son to call her momma...oops gramma. Yeah, I know.
Then there are my 2 friends, one in Chicago (I'm in Ohio) and another in Ohio but an hour and a half away, so I don't get to see her.
I'm a stay at home mom, so I don't have the opportunity to meet friends at work, I have 2 Masters degrees and live in a small town where that is seen as strange, and I'm terrible at small talk so I don't exactly make a lot of friends here (if you want a debate or a good academic discussion, I'm in, though that is odd here too).
So my question here is, am I missing something? Does everybody with PTSD struggle with being so lonely or is it just me? Is there anything to be done about it? Or am I just too different than everyone else?
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Lately I've been feeling scared and full of anxiety. I recently found a lump under my nipple. I hurt my back too. I'm in the process of moving. I'm run down. Everything is hard
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
Also I got the narcissist/borderline mother thing, too. Thats aweful. Cut yourself off from her as much as you can, if you ask me. I know a lot of it is unavoidable sometimes, but do as much as you can. Myself I still am forced to be in contact with mine because of financial/housing crap. But that does definitely mess with your head.
Do you have a counselor?Just for the mom thing, Id get one if I didnt have one. Theres so many binds to unravel every time theres an instance with her. (If shes like my mom anyway)
Im slowly learning that there are a lot of people you can be friends with, but just can't be open about this PTSD stuff with. They are still worth it though, to go out and have good times with. You cant talk about this stuff all the time, you know? But, you may have enough of that sort of time with your situation.
Keep talking to us, of course. Are there any support groups by you? Or a self help center? Ive gotten a lot of help from self help centers in the past. Though they may not be around in your area. Groups but most of all being able to be around and get to know others who get it.
I wish I had a real solution for you, but I can just say what seems to be helping me.
Now instance, can you and your husband share light hearted time together where your PTSD and his worries about it are irrelevent? (For example, board games, cuddling up for a movie together, candle light dinner w/ take out food together after the kids are in bed.)
Also, what about a local book club (organized by book stores), or one evening a week doing volunteer work in place where you will slowly get to know people? Even taking a cooking class, or other recreation department class.
Being an education outlier myself I do not look for people like me, just people I like.
You are right to want more, and isolation (unless comfy and craved) is an issue shared by many in this group.
Now put on your thinking cap and brainstorm outside the PTSD box.
Best of luck.
I treat it like a question of balance. Whether I am dealing with too much or not enough, it is up to me to balance the equation. "Loneliness" is only one of the many names I have for the imbalance.
Hugs Annie. Hope ya find what works for you.