Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I need to find some acceptance of what I've been through, that cost me so dearly.
I can accept the childhood abuse, because I had no choice. I mean, I accept the happening of it, not that it's in any way OK.
What I'm having difficulty with, is the crazy, traumatic drug and alcohol rehab I was sent to.
Someone was talking about the psychologist who sent me there. This woman was treated very well by the psychologist, and got good help. But the psychologist thought I was a big problem, and sent me from detox to this horrific rehab.
I have trouble accepting my own choice to stay in this rehab for 5 months, allowing for a hell of a lot of destruction of my mental health. My current therapist says they used brainwashing techniques, but I still feel self blame.
And, I blame the psychologist who sent me there.
I came out of it with cptsd and psychotic depression.
I cant change what's happened, but I feel kind of bad, grief, regret. I feel regret.
I guess I'm asking for input and advice, and just other people's experiences with coming to terms with past trauma. Losing my sanity was a high price to pay for being in the wrong place for 5 months, I feel.
I can accept the childhood abuse, because I had no choice. I mean, I accept the happening of it, not that it's in any way OK.
What I'm having difficulty with, is the crazy, traumatic drug and alcohol rehab I was sent to.
Someone was talking about the psychologist who sent me there. This woman was treated very well by the psychologist, and got good help. But the psychologist thought I was a big problem, and sent me from detox to this horrific rehab.
I have trouble accepting my own choice to stay in this rehab for 5 months, allowing for a hell of a lot of destruction of my mental health. My current therapist says they used brainwashing techniques, but I still feel self blame.
And, I blame the psychologist who sent me there.
I came out of it with cptsd and psychotic depression.
I cant change what's happened, but I feel kind of bad, grief, regret. I feel regret.
I guess I'm asking for input and advice, and just other people's experiences with coming to terms with past trauma. Losing my sanity was a high price to pay for being in the wrong place for 5 months, I feel.
"Help me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". I'm so sorry for your trauma. Stop regretting and blaming yourself, you didn't cause the trauma. Hindsight is always 20/20. I'm sure at the time you trusted her opinion and felt you were doing something that would help you. You didn't know what would happen. Sadly, you cannot change what happened, but blamimg yourself will only hinder trying to fix it. I wish you lots of luck in finding a path of happiness.
If i had a penny for more abuse i gotten in the name of "help".Is like when you ask for help you're a sitting duck...........I'm sorry you went through that.Is there anything you could do to get closure.
Like write them a letter telling them how you feel and what you think.Expose them in some way.
You did waht you thought was best for you at the time........Radical acceptance works for me something.
Sometimes and i do not know if this helps, it may not so don't count me on it.
I think of other people who had to accept great injustice like any of ours...Like cases a read on the news or you hear in the media.
And i think tha is exactly the accptance i need too.
The reason i do this comparasion is because i tend to minimize what has happened to me.......And by minimizing it is ever harder to accept it actually.................don't know if it makes sense.
I tend to be very hard on myself wanting to change things or choices i made in the past and getting angry.
So then i think of something that stuck in my mind that i saw or read and i wornder how in hell would that person will ever be able to live with what happened to them??? and then of course i think the only way is radical acceptance.
Call a spade a spade.It was HORRIBLE, INJUST those that were responasible got away with murder (literally in some cases).But that is the way it was.
Sounds simple but is often not.
RICHARD
You can also write about your bad experience to the organizations that support these Doctor or places.
I did write to sexual abuse rape crisis center of the state i used to live in.They did reply with a thank you e.mail for letting them know.
I even sent them articles that supported why i thought how they are treating survivors and what they are telling them is so wrong and damaging.
They thank me for the articles too.
Yeah i did it here too, same thing they thank me and reply.
Heart felt letters can have a strong impact.I've notcied that in many instances and i read it too.And for me gives closure i did what i could now i can move on....
You have enough knowledge that you can make them feel shame for how incompetent they are.
What I HAVE done, is write the whole story out. About the sexual counsellor, and then the rehab. I've included it in a book, and hand this around for others to read. That's my sense of being heard.
Thanks, everyone, for your input. IT really was a case of accepting abuse because I felt I deserved it. I'm going to be a lot kinder to myself about staying there! All the best.