Yes, all the time. It is mostly before I leave the house because I wonder who is going to come up. My 5 year old is the least anxious,so I try to find her voice. Its funny how wise little ones can be, I dont think I could do this without her.

Ooops I thought I was at my other sight I apologize if that didnt make sense. I wonder what it would be like to not feel so much anxiety, I hope I can experience that real soon. I hope that you do too.

Sometimes, just knowing you'll have to be in the same posistion that causes anxioty does..

Not sure this is healthy but i've larned to just go on inspite of how i feel, i identify my symptos and tell myself "Is my PTSD acting up" then i just go do whatever i have to, anxiety and all.

I have no choice.My life situation is a sink or swim scenario.
So the answer is yes, but sorry not too good advice on how to lessen the anxiety.

In fact i go to work shakin, i make it to the gym shakin....at work i talk to people with a huge smile on my face like everything is great and dandy and inside i'm thinking "i wished a existed no more" actually that is putting it mildly....My thoughts come with harsher words....

But actually i make it and so far nothing happens, just PTSD symtpoms.If somehow you can try to be a observer inside yourself and watch them (symptoms) sort of from a distance.Not sure if it makes sense.
There's a line of thought that states you watch your thoughts and fears like waves and just let them pass..........That kind of works for me.Fighting not to feel this or that only creates more caos.

I'm in the same boat. My husband brain-washed me with subtle abuse isolating me, controlling my every move, making me feel inferior, even ill. Now he decides he wants a divorce...no counseling...that would mean emotional digging and discovery of his addictions. So out I go. I haven't worked in years. Haven't been able to. I even tried to kill myself because I was so overwhelmed. Now I understand that it's PTSD, but today I had the worst anxiety attack ever just because he texted me. I felt dizzy, faint, nauseated and was hyperventilating. Just at reading a tiny text message. How am I going to face him in court?

The anxiety comes just at a hint of a thought of how in the world I'm going to survive, or live alone, or any though of my husband. And these are thoughts and things I cannot avoid!

All my kids are moved out now. I was always focused on my kids it kept me sane. Now that they are all gone my PTSD occured. I held it tin for 20 years atleast. and now I am paying big time. I am on disability and now I am home alone alot so it builds all day long. You know it is amazing that kids and animals. My dog Puddles is my guardian angel. She is a mix lab and timberwolf. She is always watching me and taking care of me. Thanks for replying

My husband is a big part of my PTSD. He is mean, a bully and has big time anger management problems. I spent today in bed sleeping and crying due to anxiety over the way he acts. I have regular anxiety attacks and it seems to get worse all the time. For years he has put on this big front around everyone and always has -- but secretly he is a whole other story. He comes from an abusive messed up family life from his mother and after we were married I think he thought of me as her and was retaliating on me.

Coral----I am so sorry for all the abuse and ill treatment you are undergoing. It must be really terrible for you too. But in the end you are probably going to be better off after the divorce.

I even had a friend I visited a couple years back who did this to me -subtle at first. Criticsizing my pants (mom jeans) my purse (not expensive enough) my underwear (not thongs) my shoes, my hair (I wear it up too much because it frizzes in humidity) even trying to make me go out with a short, younger guy because she wanted to controll even who I dated (though I told her I didnt date due to PTSD upsetting me) after 5 weeks of harrassment, she tried to get me to go out with him on Valentines day, when I had other plans. I was holding a lot of rage in. Then, when I agreed to go as friends to my favorite sushi restaurant, she changed all the plans to make it more romantic, and made him bring me a red rose, like on that show "The Bachelor" even though I told her I hated that fake show.

We went to weight watchers - I needed to lose 10 lbs, she closer to 45-50 lbs. I think she became jealous and said I didnt need to go to WW. I flew out to visit and did everything she pestered about, so she wouldnt keep stressing me out - bought stupid thongs (they give me butt-rash) low-rise jeans, flared, because that is all she would accept. A small but expensive little Coach pursette. Matching, name brand workout outfits, new of course, and cool sketcher runnning shoes. All to please her so she would stop nagging and upsetting me.

Big mistake - this type, man or woman, never stops. She simply found other things to pick on me about. On the days it rained or we walked the beach as part of our weight loss plan, she would nag me about me wearing my hair clipped up. It was preposterous!

Then we went to a nightclub...I was in slim fit jeans, high black leather boot-shoes, long blonde thick smooth hair, make up, jewlry. She then told me, as we waited for drinks with her husband, that If it wasnt for the place I was from (close to NYC- she loves New York and Sex and the City) that she would not be my friend. That she was ONLY friends with me because of my proximity to NYC, and If I lived near her, she would refuse to be my friend! This shocked me!

She locked me out of the house one night, after I went out with a friend, and she declined to go after we drove to her place to pick her up. I knocked, in winter cold, for 10 minutes, even on her bedrom window, and she refused to let me inside, where all my things and money was. The next morning she hugged her robe around herself and grinned, very evil, and said she heard me but didnt want to get out of bed to let me in, as she might not fall back to sleep easily. SO she decided to leave me out in the cold. And ordered her husband not to let me in either. A relative in the basement eventualy came upstairs and heard me and let me in.

I was a mess when I got home. For 8 months, tried different antidepressants, all which made me sick in one way or another, experienced some frightening rage and PTSD thinking about it constantly. Needless to say, when she texted me about a trip out to Palm Springs with my friend, her brother-in-law, I'd had enough and ended the friendship in a most rotten way, telling her daughter and husband I thought she had Munchaussens-by-proxy. Or at least was a sociopath. I caught her and I told everyone in her life.

It took me a year to recover from the abuse, which she knew upset me, but denied my requests, repeated often, to stop, and why. Ouch!

Some people take pleasure in trying to controll others; which we usually think of this as a man trying to controll/intimidate and abuse his wife. But it takes many forms.

Sorry, I just had to vent. I feel emotionally very weak and ill and afraid today. Afraid of my own dark angry feelings, and the way I so desperately strike out at those who hurt me repeatedly.

Barbie, thanks for your kind words. It's so difficult for me to wrap my brain around the drastic changes in my life...having my own bed to having to ask for a place to sleep from people I hadn't seen in years. I'm learning a lot and am ever so glad to be out from under my husband's mind-bending rule.

And to the person who posted about their friend who did such a number on their head...where friends are concerned, I take it for much less time than I took it from my husband. I don't know why, but somehow friends are in a healthier relationship category than are significant others.

I once had a former roommate offer to drive me to the airport when I lived in Chicago. I was going home for Christmas and the savings on transportation and parking was significant.

We hadn't seen each other in eons. She was pretty much an alcoholic and would do stuff like constantly forget to lock the front door. She once took me to her parents' house for dinner and the whole dinner all I heard was that they wished she could be more like me. This was a major bad in my very young opinion.

When she picked me up to go to the airport, I gasped. She had cut her hair exactly like mine and had gotten new glasses frames that were exactly like mine. My stomach began to turn.

On the way to the airport, she purposefully drove roads that would make me late enough to miss my plane. And she began to get confrontational. It became a scene out of a nightmare.

I had to reach over and turn off the car ignition, grab the keys and bolt from the car, open the trunk and retrieve my bag which had Christmas presents in it among my other stuff. I threw the keys and hurried to a nearby phone booth and called a cab...didn't even know exactly where I was...just gave them a description of the shopping plaza and streets. Luckily they found me and got me to the airport in time.

But while waiting for the cab, sitting on my suitcase in the cold, a cop car pulled up. She had called the police saying that I had attempted to steal her car! I told them the story and, thankfully, they let me be.

I'm learning that I've got character defects that actually ATTRACT these kinds of people in my life. I'm also learning how to heal and stop this madness. It will take a long time, maybe the rest of my life, but things have gotten so out of hand that I have no other choice than to stand and address my issues.

Wish me luck!
Lisa