I am so very sory for your loss. I wish there was something I could say that would take your pain away. I too lost my precious baby boy due to hospital error, in the most horrific way. I sued the hospital and won. I didn't want what happened to my son and family to happen to another baby. Like you I had so many plans and dreams for my amazing beautiful son that were taken away so suddenly. What I have learned is that grief is a very individualized process and there is no right or wrong way, just as there is no time limit. Time it's self heals nothing, it's what you do in that time that makes a difference. There are support groups for people that have lost a baby that many people find extremely helpful. I found therapy to be the most helpful because I now had complex ptsd, and I have never done well in group therapy or support groups. Allow yourself to grieve, accept help when it's offered, seek either a support group or a therapist, or both if you find it helpful, allow family and friends to be there for you, it will help both you and them, don't isolate yourself no matter how much you may way want to, be kind and patient with yourself. I wish I could say that one day it won't hurt, but that would be a lie. It does however get better with time. I am sure you would been an amazing mommy...my heart breaks for you, as I know the pain and heartbreak you're feeling. It will get better, it will take time...but I promise you it will. My heart and prayers are with you....(((hugs)))

google the rowen tree foundation. I saw it on a friends profile. PM me if you can't find it or need some help. OK?

Elizabeth is right, do not isolate. You need the help and support friends can offer. But remember, they to are greiving too. maybe for your daughter, and maybe for you too. They will not always know what to do or say, so be gently with them, for they too struggle on your behalf. I've never lost a child, so I can only imagine what you feel, I can't know for sure. And that makes writing this all the tougher. Time will help, not because the pain lessen, I don't think it does, but more because you will learn to live in the new moments. The real moments, not the ones you had planned, but those that are now your future. I saw a bumper sticker once that said Man plans, and God chuckles. Always remember that He is in control. His plan is perfect, and someday we will know all the answers, but for now, we can only move on in wonder.

Take all the time you need, and let no one try to rush you, or tell you how to greive. Each of us have to find our own personal way along the path. But this doesn't mean we need to do it alone. I wish you all the best. Hugs and prayers.
~theGuardian