Hello and welcome to the group. We provide support the best we can as a group, but it's always a good idea to have a mental health professional to talk to.

I too have PTSD and there are too many traumatic events in my life for me to be able to say where it comes from. I have found that knowing the origin could help but it's not absolutely necessary to get better.

Once again, welcome.

Hey Shlay

I have c-PTSD or complex PTSD---it is not from a short term traumatic event but rather from a period of my life ages 12-19 where my life was not a safe place, I experienced multiple assaults and danger.

I was able to get myself to a more stable place in life, out of harm and danger, but my brain stored up all that trauma horror in the amigdila. I have had intrusive thoughts, dissociation, flashbacks, physical problems and mood swings that persisted for years. I am still in treatment.

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/pages/complex-ptsd.asp

Even my relationships are messed up, friends and lovers. I just get so nervous all the time. And because I was abused, my girlfriends or boyfriends get upset when I tell them not to touch me... They just don't understand

I feel like I've talked about all of it so much, but there is a lot I can't remember. I haven't been to a therapist that can really get deep enough into my problems to help me solve them.

Thanks for welcoming me to the group!

suferchica, I feel like that is what I have as well. Every house old I lived in growing up (and there were a lot) was abusive in some way or another. I've ran away from people my whole life.

This is my second year living on my own, and I love it. But, like you said, I still can't shake the fear.

I wouldn't suggest you follow in my footsteps, but I think it's a case that countless pathways can lead to the truth. I can't say I'm anxiety free now, but am usually pretty comfortable. One of the first corners I turned was when I got angry with God, for allowing so many fear inducing experiences into my life. Maybe it's because God honors sincerity, even in the form of anger, but after yelling at God and demanding that He end my life or make the fear go away, things started slowly getting better. I didn't know much about love in those days, and unconditional Love wasn't even within my frame of reference, I had no clue! To me, love was a concept fabricated for the purpose of manipulating others, and nothing more. In my life, I was either getting by or getting scared.

I probably should write a book on the experiences that led me to change, but not yet. There are a couple of things I do even now, when I suspect that I'm heading down the anxiety road. One is to consider the worst case scenerio and figure out how I might be able to handle it. The other is the realization that whatever may happen, it's highly probable that the fear of it is worse than the event itself.

At the peak of the cold war, we were told that the world was just minutes away from total destruction, and it may even happen unintentionally. I heard about a guy who was instantly killed when a passing eagle dropped a turtle on his head. I've concluded that even if we consider all the terrible things within our imagination, from freak accidents to common hazards, there are a zillion other possible misfortunes that may disasterize our day.

Children can be seen in horrible circumstances, such as abject poverty, having disease, or in war zones, laughing and playing, and seeming to still get something positive out of life. Having spent considerable time with dying people, I have observed many who express immense pleasure in simple things, seeming to forget the huge transition that looms ahead.

What is the secret answer that so many have found while facing disaster, suffering, fearful things and death? Maybe the elderly and infirmed have had time to think about it, but what about young kids?

Spirit, I was going to volunteer for Hospice last year, but I decided to go to college instead.

I try every day to not be so scared, sometimes it works, others it doesn't. I know that many people have it/had it far worse than I did/do. I just want to be able to move on with my life.

My prayers are with you. It may help to consider your feelings and the balance of energy deep within on those days that you do well, and the thoughts that support your well-being at that time, and recreate them as much as possible on days when you're feeling anxious. There are some inspiring writings and music that can help. I have many moments of "instant meditation" throughout the day, in which I clear my head of thoughts and focus on my heart, take a few deep breaths. The thoughts that follow those moments are quite helpful.

I started making real headway when I started thinking of fear as a warning system. They exist to warn me of danger. When I am fearful, I look around to identify the source. If there is none, I work to accept it as irrational and just leave it be.

just leave it be... Easier said than done, but it got easier with practice.

hugs and hopes. Hope ya find what works for you.

EMDR really helps me with the 'feelings' even when I cannot pinpoint them to an event. It is a super hero form of therapy for me. I tap at home, sometimes I even EMDR when I'm by myself, and it helps!

Thanks, everyone, for the advice!

I learnt about EMDR in my psychology class last semester- I should talk to my therapist more about it!

Read about CPTSD and emotional flashbacks.Google it.There is good info on it.

Once you understand this dosorders and how it works you can find i place within yourself that knows you are not this disorder's symptoms and those fears are associated with past experiences rather than present ones of future.

It takes constant self-awareness and monitoring of yourself.If you can get professional help its helpful but it can be done on your own too.

It takesa willingness to look into the past and put the puzzle together and staying put while you process the emotions in context.

Its not for the squimish.Sometimes meds acn esae the process while you go through it.