I know how you feel because I felt the same as you. I had the same disinterest in my son when he was born. I had a C section too. I think that has a lot to do with it because a C section is a major surgery. My husband wanted me to go home too early after the operation and all I wanted to do was stay in the hospital longer. I should have stayed the 10 days that the doctor and nurses said was usual for a C section, but my stupid husband nagged me to go home early because he said he was lonely and bored at home. I stayed in the hospital only 7 days. I wanted to stay longer. I just wanted to rest and sleep and not bother with my newborn who was in the the hospital nursery with the other newborns. I wanted the kind nurses to take care of him instead of bothering me with it. I remember I was in a room shared by another new mother and she always had her baby with her in bed. I was just not interested in having my baby with me. The nurses used to bring him in for me to breast feed him and I did not like it at all. It was a bother. It bugged me. They would come in and say do you want us to bring your baby in for a visit, and I would say maybe later. I think they must have seen I was in a low mood. I remember they brought the baby in to give me a lesson in how to bathe him. I reluctantly got out of bed and looked down at the baby with no real interest and felt guilty. How was I going to take care of this little baby I did not have any interest in, I dreaded leaving the safety of the hospital and kind nurses. I was not ready to be a mother. I should not have had this damn baby. I just wanted to be a single woman with no baby and no husband. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be free! Well, I went home to my pokey basement apartment and my dopey husband. People would come over to see the baby and I would have to pretend to be a happy new mother. But I was feeling so depressed and miserable inside. I had never felt this way before. I remember walking with my best friend to the store to pick up newborn Pampers and feeling so envious of her. She was free - single and no baby and free. I had to keep from sobbing. She had no idea I was a walking pile of misery. I felt guilty feeling this way and did not say how awful I felt to anybody. My husband was kind of dimwitted and not someone I could share feelings with. I regret marrying him. My mother was there to visit but I felt guilty telling her how terrible I felt and that I did not like my baby. So I kept everything bottled up inside. The baby felt like a burden to me and I just wanted him to go away. Looking back on it now I realize I suffering from postpartum depression. I read up on what causes it. It has a lot to do with hormones. When a woman is pregnant her body's hormones go through a bunch of changes. When the baby leaves her body the hormones go through more changes. All these hormone changes can cause postpartum depression in some women. Well, I have to let you know that this happened a long time ago. My son was born in 1983 he is 34 now. So this was way before the internet and there were no online support sites like this one. I wish there had been I would have had some support. They did have therapists back then, and I wish I had gone to a therapist when I was suffering postpartum depression. It would have helped me I am sure. Any way to make a long story short. My low mood gradually got a bit better and I started to bond with my baby. Slowly my depression lifted and I started to take more of an interest in him. I did have to go on an antidepressant but I think that had more to do with being married to my husband. He was no help to me and really took no interest in the baby from day one. The story has a happy ending. I grew to love my son to pieces and he loves me back. We are very close. I will offer you some advice dear - try to talk to someone about your feelings - a therapist can really help. Don't suffer in silence. Is there a baby clinic in your area with an understanding nurse or doctor. You may want to discuss with your doctor if you should go on an antidepressant for a short while to just get you over the worst of it. Just know that things will get better. You will love your baby too and she will love you back. Hugs to you dear.

I know it's hard and horrible to feel like this but one of the most important things that will help you to feel better is to talk about it. Maybe it is hard to talk to your husband, but seek help in others. This that you just did, to seek help online is already a great start, Try to find support groups near to you and do talk to your mother. The more you talk about these feelings, the more clarity you will feel. Also, visit your doctor and tell them how you're feeling, they can help and maybe prescribe something for you to take that will help you feel better, but more than anything, don't feel ashamed over something you didn't chose. As you wouldn't feel ashamed if you had the flu or any other disease. Take one day at the time and you will get pass it. Have hope! Sending you love and strength.