My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 20, going on 21 months now. I have PCOS and am infertile. I have been surprisingly strong throughout this entire process but now that I've just gone through my 3rd unsuccessful round of Clomid I am beginning to crumble and lose hope. I only have 3 more rounds before I have to stop taking the medicine because you are not allowed to take more than 6 cycles. So far I'm obviously 0 for 3 so my odds aren't looking that great. My best friend and closest cousin just told me they are both pregnant (2nd child for each), and now my very fertile sister just told me that she is going to start trying this month. I am happy for them, just because I'm infertile doesn't mean that no one else should be able to have children. But it makes it really hard for me to stay strong emotionally when I have to be so ecstatic that everyone I am close to in my life is pregnant. I have no desire to do anything lately but stay in alone and cry. I've never longed for anything more than I do for a child. I am already in love with my children whom I have yet to even conceive. Each month knowing "this could be it, I could be pregnant" I get my hopes up and each month once I start feeling these emotions I already create this emotional attachment to the potential life form I could be carrying...and each month when I start my period and get negative test results I feel like I have that thing ripped from my heart.
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