Sorry if I put this in the wrong spot.

I think one of the worst ways of instilling confidence in someone is to tell them to be more confident! It just doesn't work that way, and ends up making the person feel like it's just another thing they aren't doing right .Well, as you said he's a nephrologist and not a psychiatrist!

You said that you think he means well. Have you ever considered seeing somebody (therapist, psychologist) to help with those issues at home? I only ask because I am finally seeing a therapist for the first time EVER and I am 46. It is helping me a lot and I really like it.

Vent all you want! He sound slike he doesn't have great "bedside manner." But sometimes if you can hear the message and ignore the messenger, it can help.

Rock on Polykid...don't let this guy get you down! Congrats on the weight loss and keep up the good work.

Hey, kid!

It's OK to whine! (Sometimes! :-) )

Yeah, it seems that he wants the best for you in his push for you to lose weight.

What if you gently but firmly suggest that being put down is not the best method of motivation for you and that you respond better to positive encouragement?

Doctors, like everybody else, don't know your "buttons" that motivate and de-motivate you.

You have to teach doctors (and everyone else in your 'circle' ) how you need to be treated.

If, after informing him of the way you need encouragement, and he still puts you down, you may have to get a bit more firm.

When he says you're not losing weight fast enough, respond by asking, "Compared to whom?"

And then ask him for positive, constructive suggestions on how you could increase your rate of losing weight.

Now, when you say, "I can't help the way I am I just am this way" you know that's not entirely true. People, (and you are a 'people') can and do change.

If you need to lose weight, it's for a very good reason! You know what that reason is!

You know the drill. Check out what you're eating, how much, and when. And make appropriate modifications!

You are not a pre-programmed robot!

You are a living, breathing, adaptable human being who has gone through a lot and will continue to go through a lot as all of us have.

Don't sell yourself short!

Other PKDers have lost weight, you can too!

Keep On Truckin' !

Peace and Blessings!
CoachRichie

We are on your side. I know my husband struggles to lose weight. If I make him big salads with chicken or whatever he wants on top, he'll eat it. If I make meals that are high in fat and low in fiber, he'll eat that too. So,I take control of the kitchen to help him. Do you have control in your kitchen at home? You said you have problems. I hope I can help you in some small way here. What kind of foods do you eat on average days? Do you like vegetables and fruits? Have you seen the PKD Cookbook with all the yummy recipes that so happen to be good for us? My Mom struggled with her weight too. She seemed to like the support group way to go with Weight Watchers. It's a personal decision. Eating right is so important with PKD. Let me know your thoughts. I hope I have not annoyed you as well. My intention is to help you.
Hugs,
Jessica

CoachRichie, when I said I can't help who I am I meant my nerves not my weight. I know I can change my weight. I have been on dialysis for 5 months and have lost 50 pounds but the doctor doesn't like that I hit a snag in my weight loss. I mean I am trying; all I can do is try harder.

Wow 50 pds in 5 months time is a tremendous amount of weight to lose. Good for you! Generally it's recommended that a person lose 2-3 pds a week for it to be considered a healthy weight loss amount. Sounds as if you are hitting it right on target.

Lots of people hit a plateau when they are dieting when it seems as if they just can not get below a certain weight. It's very common and can be tough to get past. Good luck with it and make sure you are getting the right amount of calories because if you don't eat enough that can cause your weight loss to stand still. Your body thinks it's starving and starts storing fat in preparation rather than burning it off.

I agree that you should try to speak up to your doctor and tell him it would be nice to get some positive feedback about the good work you've done so far. It is very empowering to speak out about your feelings. And if you think about what you want to say in advance and come across respectfully to the doctor he should be respectful in return. You have to be your own best advocate.

That is a tremendous amount to lose! I think you're doing just fine!

I think you should tell your doc how you feel. Tell him that his comments are actually discouraging and not encouraging and that's not what you (or anyone) needs.

I believe in you and know that we're all behind you!