Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I dreamed that I was still living with him while he started dating the new gf. She would come over and hang out. Of course, she is young, beautiful, funny and nice. I keep trying to tell her what my ex is like but the words never really come out. For some reason he lets me talk to her...unconcerned that I might tell her something bad about him.
I also realized I left a few items in the house. I had to text the friend I went NC with last week to ask her to retrieve them since I no longer have a key. Damn, I wish I didn't need this stuff, but I do. Boots, fall clothing, etc. Some of it rather brand new that I don't want to have to repurchase. I am afraid she might not help me given the situation.
This is tough stuff. Really tough stuff. I feel a lot of anger right now. I wish, just wish that I had never met this man.
But today is the first day of the rest of my life...time for some coffee and peaceful thoughts.
I also realized I left a few items in the house. I had to text the friend I went NC with last week to ask her to retrieve them since I no longer have a key. Damn, I wish I didn't need this stuff, but I do. Boots, fall clothing, etc. Some of it rather brand new that I don't want to have to repurchase. I am afraid she might not help me given the situation.
This is tough stuff. Really tough stuff. I feel a lot of anger right now. I wish, just wish that I had never met this man.
But today is the first day of the rest of my life...time for some coffee and peaceful thoughts.
The reality is, I'm afraid, that the new girl may or may not believe you even if you did it in real life. She is bound to tell him that you made contact in any case, and the guy will do anything to convince her you are just bitter and jealous. He seems to have been very adept in hiding his abuse of you :(
And they go for younger women probably as much for the naivety as for any ego boost. Of guys in my experience who have behaved like this (I.e. abusers) I have never known a SINGLE one go for a woman his own age or older - now that's scary! With my parents, mother was five years younger than Dad. I was 3 years younger than hubby. A lot when you consider he was a postgrad when I was still an undergrad. He hung out with a much older crowd. Another two guys I know of scorned age-similar women and liked age differences of between 10 and 20 years, the woman always, always YOUNGER.
They aren't picking younger women because they are better in any tangible sense; they just know that women their own age are too smart and will figure them out :) Trust me, this new girl can probably never be convinced by you, because he is always there to twist the facts. And she may be young and confident enough to buy into the idea that she is somehow more desirable than you.
But she will learn in the end that it is nothing more than a LIE that he dangled to hook her. I have seen plenty of beautiful, smart, strong women dumped by narcissists without a second thought. Why? Because they would not play ball and be controlled! That is all this thing is about for these guys.
Hope you enjoyed your coffee, and that the rest of your life will hold wonderful things :) Take heart: there is really, REALLY probably nothing untainted by him that you could do to warn her. I am probably going to feel similar to you if I hear hubby has a new girl. And I am damn sure he will go younger after me... and lie his head off against any warning I try to give her.
Comfort yourself and save your strength - you deserve it :) xx