Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Aw, I just made a mistake. I looked at the farm fb page. I know I shouldn't have but I did :-( There he is in all his glory posting this and that about various activities. And, of course, people are hitting the "like" button. It makes me want to shout from the rooftops, "you have no idea what kind of man he is....and if you did I don't believe you would be supportive of him or his business." Please tell me there is justice. Tell me I will see it one day. Tell me that he does not get to be a monster, and live freely and happily, while I seek out support and comfort on an abuse site. I want to know his world will crumble one day.
Pretty awful of me, huh? For those who don't know, I'm the "horse" person. He has been around horses less than two years. This was my dream. And because of his treatment, I had to dessert my dream and he is left with it. What irony.
It was interesting to see that few of the folks that were participating at the farm in August (when I left for good) are still checking out the site. For the most part, I don't know any of them.
My fb digging was related to an incident involving a good friend of mine who also moved her horse off the farm in Aug. She went to the farm last week with another friend of ours to look at a horse for sale. While there my friend refused to go on the farm proper and stayed in the parking area. She was approached by my ex-friend Lisa. Lisa is part of a couple that my ex and I were very close to. She lives right around the corner from the farm and her and her family come out and help practically daily. To keep her own little dream in tact, she refuses to acknowledge my ex's bad behavior. So she comes up to my friend and says, LT defriended me on fb. Why? It's not my fault that I live nearby and that LT and her ex weren't "compatible." REALLY???? Fortunately, my friend spoke up and said that my ex is a difficult person to which Lisa nodded her head. My goodness, Lisa was there when I had to call the police on him. I called her actually after the police left. Her response then was "we weren't compatible and didn't communicate well." Really??? Anyway, you can probably see why I am no longer able to be friends with her.
Thanks for letting me vent. A minor setback, but I refuse to let it get in the way of the holiday. I have to remember that a leopard doesn't change its spots. And I do believe in the karma kitty. ;-)
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Pretty awful of me, huh? For those who don't know, I'm the "horse" person. He has been around horses less than two years. This was my dream. And because of his treatment, I had to dessert my dream and he is left with it. What irony.
It was interesting to see that few of the folks that were participating at the farm in August (when I left for good) are still checking out the site. For the most part, I don't know any of them.
My fb digging was related to an incident involving a good friend of mine who also moved her horse off the farm in Aug. She went to the farm last week with another friend of ours to look at a horse for sale. While there my friend refused to go on the farm proper and stayed in the parking area. She was approached by my ex-friend Lisa. Lisa is part of a couple that my ex and I were very close to. She lives right around the corner from the farm and her and her family come out and help practically daily. To keep her own little dream in tact, she refuses to acknowledge my ex's bad behavior. So she comes up to my friend and says, LT defriended me on fb. Why? It's not my fault that I live nearby and that LT and her ex weren't "compatible." REALLY???? Fortunately, my friend spoke up and said that my ex is a difficult person to which Lisa nodded her head. My goodness, Lisa was there when I had to call the police on him. I called her actually after the police left. Her response then was "we weren't compatible and didn't communicate well." Really??? Anyway, you can probably see why I am no longer able to be friends with her.
Thanks for letting me vent. A minor setback, but I refuse to let it get in the way of the holiday. I have to remember that a leopard doesn't change its spots. And I do believe in the karma kitty. ;-)
Happy Thanksgiving!!
I had a similar experience with a friend who wanted to start a business and then shut me out, and everyone thinking she's so great- it's really frustrating. A friend told me though "Yes, but they don't know what she's really like." That makes sense. You're the only one that know him they way you do, and he's tricking everyone else. And on top of that, most people don't understand abuse. So you have inside secret knowledge compared to the others!
The thing is that folks that hang out there regularly do know he is a complete and utter control freak with an anger issue. But I don't think parents of kids taking lessons there ever see that side of him. They just think he's wonderful. I started a therapeutic riding program there...and now he is taking credit and looking like the compassionate do-gooder. In reality he knows NOTHING about riding or kids with special needs. Urrr
And about the farm page...aww, we've all done it. There is a sort of curiosity oftentimes, maybe wanting to see if what they are doing now is any different than before. Most of the time with these people, they are just churning out more of the same - lies, manipulation, and coasting on other people's efforts. A pretty sad combination, that we are far too good for!!
Sorry too about Lisa :( But if she couldn't support you fully, it's better she stays where she is and you don't carry on. You need better than that.
Hugs and glad you won't let this get you down. You have come so far! xx
No one can know- even us- what you've had to endure and give up due to your husband and that is a lonely place. Sometimes I wish he would call me names in public or grab my hair or something so someone could SEE what the inside of my heart feels like....battered and bruised.
I have been turning to the psalms often because many of them speak of oppression and the promised victory that those who walk in God's ways will find. So many of the words have spoken to exactly what I was feeling. Hope this one gives encouragement to whoever needs it right now.
Psalm 10
Lord, why are you so far away?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
An evil person is proud and hunts down those who are weak.
He catches weak people by making clever plans.
He brags about what his heart longs for.
He speaks well of those who always want more.
He attacks the Lord with his words.
Because he is proud, that evil person doesnt turn to the Lord.
There is no room for God in any of his thoughts.
Everything always goes well for him.
So he is proud.
He doesnt want to have anything to do with Gods laws.
He makes fun of all of his enemies.
He says to himself, I will always be secure.
I will always be happy. Ill never have any trouble.
His mouth is full of curses and lies and warnings.
With his tongue he speaks evil and makes trouble.
Sinful people hide and wait near the villages.
From their hiding places they murder those who arent guilty of doing anything wrong.
They watch in secret for those they want to attack.
They hide and wait like a lion in the bushes.
From their hiding places they wait to catch those who are helpless.
They catch them and drag them off in their nets.
Those they have attacked are beaten up. They fall to the ground.
They fall because their attackers are too strong for them.
Sinful people say to themselves, God doesnt pay any attention.
He covers his face. He never sees us.
Lord, rise up! God, show your power!
Dont forget those who are helpless.
Why do sinful people attack you with their words?
Why do they say to themselves,
He wont hold us accountable?
God, you see trouble and sadness.
You take note of it. You do something about it.
So those who are attacked place themselves in your care.
You help children whose fathers have died.
Take away the power of bad and sinful people.
Hold them accountable for the evil things they do.
Uncover all the evil they have done.
The Lord is King for ever and ever.
The nations will disappear from his land.
Lord, you hear the longings of those who are hurting.
You cheer them up and give them hope.
You listen to their cries.
You stand up for those whose fathers have died
and for those who have been beaten down.
You do it so that no one made of dust
may terrify others anymore.
"Most of the time with these people, they are just churning out more of the same - lies, manipulation, and coasting on other people's efforts." That is him exactly to the T! Getting free labor from Lisa and her fam, and then lying to boarders about the care of their horses....because he doesn't know how to care for their horses, and always insists on inserting his judgement over the owner's while they pay premium money to have their horse there.
He's not only an idiot, but a liar, a manipulator, a controller and a user.
I am SOOOOO much better off. Thanks for the reminder!
But, although I am venting, for the most part I now look at him and the farm as one entity. This helps. I certainly don't want him, so why would I want the farm. You know what I mean.
I'm so sorry you still have to live with him. I hope one day that changes for you.
Hugs
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What people like isn't real. Yes they may not know this but, they also most probably wouldn't even care because they have zero emotional investment in him. If they found out what he was really like they would probably unfriend him or just ignore him but they wouldn't be too effected by it.
But I totally get where you're coming from!!!
In answer to where you're coming from "KARMA" yes I believe that karma will one day catch up with them and you may or may not be around to see it, but just have faith that everything has a balance and it WILL balance out!