Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
i just want him to go away..his memory is haunting me. i feel haunted, anxious, angry, afraid, sad, scared, everything!
we signed this lease less & less than 3 months later he walked out. left me with my bill for the windshield he broke, then he offered me $ to pay for the windshield and like a dummy i went to get it. he was drunk, attacked me, broke my stick shift and dumped me miles away from home. then i had to pay for the stick shift, ruined my summer b/c of all the repairs. didn't even make it to the beach once and i'm in the middle of canada so we really only have 8 to 10 wknds of summer & no holiday for me this yr b/c i was sicker than a dog.
now i find out he's trying to put a pool team together out of the venue where i go to play still! those are my friends, not his. he didn't play league before we hooked up. why doesn't he get his own damn friends, his own damn venue!
so here i sit, with a huge lease i can't afford, at least i was smart enuff to put the bills in his name so i'm running them up and gonna leave them be, switch them over into my name at the last minute. my landlord lost our lease so i dont have anything with his signature so my small claims court case is going to be tough to prove cuz i've decided to sue him! fuck it all..i feel vengeful when i know i shouldn't care..
but of all things!! why the fuck wont he go get his own life, leave my hangouts alone, leave my friends alone! wtf is that about?
we signed this lease less & less than 3 months later he walked out. left me with my bill for the windshield he broke, then he offered me $ to pay for the windshield and like a dummy i went to get it. he was drunk, attacked me, broke my stick shift and dumped me miles away from home. then i had to pay for the stick shift, ruined my summer b/c of all the repairs. didn't even make it to the beach once and i'm in the middle of canada so we really only have 8 to 10 wknds of summer & no holiday for me this yr b/c i was sicker than a dog.
now i find out he's trying to put a pool team together out of the venue where i go to play still! those are my friends, not his. he didn't play league before we hooked up. why doesn't he get his own damn friends, his own damn venue!
so here i sit, with a huge lease i can't afford, at least i was smart enuff to put the bills in his name so i'm running them up and gonna leave them be, switch them over into my name at the last minute. my landlord lost our lease so i dont have anything with his signature so my small claims court case is going to be tough to prove cuz i've decided to sue him! fuck it all..i feel vengeful when i know i shouldn't care..
but of all things!! why the fuck wont he go get his own life, leave my hangouts alone, leave my friends alone! wtf is that about?
As for why he doesn't leave you alone ... unfortunately, it's all about control. Abuse generally is all about control. And abusers never want to give up control - the only way to get out from under is to take control back. And sometimes that means losing friends or "venues" which is SO not fair. Unless you can stand to still be in the same venue while ignoring him. My ex started stalking me on a game site we both joined ... I nearly stopped going, but in the end chose to just ignore him because I had my own friends there. And on line is much easier to ignore than irl for sure.
He may start to leave you alone if he knows he's going to get zero reaction from you, but that's the ONLY way he'll leave you alone. Any kind of reaction is fuel to the abuser, doesn't matter if it's negative or positive. The opposite of love is indifference - they can take love or hate, it's either or to them, because either way you are engaging with them and that's what gives them control.
thank you so much for the response and remiding me how these abusers work. i was having an entire day of anxiety and my vision was cloudy. he can have that shit hole anyway because i'm movin up! :)
hugs
If not, and you still want to go there, I would suggest rallying your friends around you. They can step in if he tries to speak to you, tell him to knock it the F off. You, meanwhile will have to ignore him like you're getting paid for it.
If you really feel up to the battle for your stomping grounds, I say go for it and ignore the piss out of him. If you're emotionally fragile right now, I'd try to find a new venue and start over. Chances are he'll get bored with it when he sees you don't give a rat's ass, then when he crawls back into whatever sewer he came from, you can make antriumphant return to the old place.
i would miss my sat afternoon tournaments. pool is my one thing that i have fun doing and everytime i go, i can go alone and always meet up with friends..now that i say it, i see why he wants to do taht..
just no one knew what i was going through, i've only shared with you guys! and thank you so much for listening. i came here for support and i sure have found it, love to you all!