I think the conditioning is definitely part of it. Another part is the FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) that we end up in. The FOG can make it very difficult to think clearly and make decisons. I know it was a real problem for me. Here's a link with more informatin on the FOG.

http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/FOG.html

I think a third piece goes with the cycle of abuse and always hoping that maybe this time the honeymoon phase will actually stick this time.

Another piece for me was my core beliefs. One of my core beliefs was that marriage was supposed to be forever. Another one I held was that I always find a way to succeed, I don't fail. These were some things I had to work through as well. Identifying and changing core beliefs is hard.

The hope, the FOG , the core beliefs and the conditioning sure as heck can make digging yourself out a real challenge.

There is also the investment. There comes a point where we feel we have invested SO much, that the payoff just HAS to be around the corner. And we fear that, if we walk away now, it's the next person in their life who will get the pay off. A bit like throwing a lot of money in the slot machine, and being afraid to stop for fear that someone else will sit down, put in a dollar and get the jackpot.

I gave a speech to my speech class on this topic, for my instructor. She said in class once if you are in a toxic relationship you need to cut your losses and leave. I received a 4.0 & educated my classmates it was a proud moment!

Very good points ladies.

great site, it talksabout personality disorders sounds like my parents has all of them! lol. i see a therapist been seeing her for 4 mos. i am trying to unwind all the brain damage and brainwashing my parents did growing up and not easy at almost 27 yrs old.

@summer.. Thank you for sharing. That sure helped me out. I bookmarked it. Thank you

Living I agree with you too. We certainly think they have learned with us and will treat the next woman better. False evidence appearing real

Oh my gosh ladytiger I am 49 and still trying to get clear of all the brainwashing my parents did and all my relationship abusers and the army brainwashing. My life has been something else I tell you!

I told myself it was getting ready to change for a long time and it just about killed me to see him laugh and joke with other people yet for his own family it was always the abuse. I always thought well its finiancal stress but his company is starting to take off and he is still abusing but the difference is this time I'am changing and moving on to something better.