You are not a loser. Please see that you need to get yourself and your boys out of that situation. I think giving up their home & neighborhood in order to no longer be physically abused is more than a fair trade off. Don't you think?
You implied that you don't trust or love the man. Please think things through and do whatever you can to get the boys and yourself into a better environment. You are stronger than you realize.There is hope-always. Peace & prayers~ Pam

If he is fixiated on men, how do you know he won't harm your sons. I am living proof that my mother should have left my father, but she just couldn't do it. Now look at me. It has followed me my whole freaking life. I wish my mother had been brave enough to walk away, but because she didn't I sit here 40 years later a screwed up mess. it took me this long to realize that noone can help me. I must first love myself and realize that my choices were a direct result of my abuse. Now that the worst has happened and I HAVE to do it. I am determined that I will never be abused again. Please do not let this be your story.

your not a loser, i know how you feel. till one day i was like..hes not having the rest of my life-i deserve that. its not worth feeling miserable about...you were who you were before you met him and can be that again. not for yourself but the kids.

your a woman, a brave woman..look in the mirror and meet her. im here if you need me.

Ditto to everything everyone else said. But i want to really express that this man could hurt your boys in ways they will never get over. I know this sounds extreme but coming from a childhood abuse home i know from experience. This man has serious issues and if he does meet a man who's to say he doesn't give you some God awful disease you will have for the rest of your life. I think the kids will adjust over time because they will be soooooo much happier in a happy, sane and nonviolent home. You are soooo not a loser and you are stronger than you know. I didn't do the right thing one time for my grown daughters and regret and hate myself for it to this day. they have forgiven me but i can never forgive myself. I want to be a mom they love AND respect. Get some outside help from the local domestic abuse organization and get out of there. They can put you up for a while and maybe your kids could stay in the same school till you can find a place that is in that school district. You are strong, you just have to tap into that part of you now when your kids need you to do it the most. I am not saying it is easy or judging you because i have left and gone back more times than i like to remember. Take care of yourself and take baby steps, one at a time if you can to get you and your children safe.(((((((HUGS)))))))

He is SCARY!! I love being away from the abuser!! I have grown so much since he been gone! my eye have opened and I agree with Tame, don't waste your life and your childrens on someone you don't love, the kids know what is going on..they are the smart ones. PLEASE move on and give them a chance..
I am 48 and still struggling because of the choices my parents made..
Hugs and be safe

The effect on your kids will not be the material stuff, but the example that is set for them as normal. I stayed way too long, and now, at 17, my son still doesn't realize the extent of the abuse, he just thinks that was the way it was, abuse was normal for him, (until I or his therapist start to explain it). The dysfunction will be what they carry for life. Don't stay for them...LEAVE for them...Give them a happy life. They won't care if they are sharing a bedroom, if they have some peace when they sleep....You, and they are entitled to a joyful life...

Hugs....

Are you protecting yourself, sexually?

You are not a loser! You can't control what other ppl do. Sometimes, you don't even know the ppl you are married to, you think you do, and "wham" you get blindsided by something you never would have dreamed could be true. Life does throw bizarre things at you sometimes.

It's hard to, when you have two children to protect. I'm not sure counselling would help in this situation, if your husband is "bisexual" or "gay". It could help in working out a way to keep you in the house with the kids, keeping it pretty normal for them etc.

Good luck.

I highly recommend reading up on trauma bonding. It makes a lot of sense of what seems and feels like our nonsensical tendencies.

He has not been physical for a few years.

hello my partner is at times violent and his temper is awful so ive learned to shut up but he also doesnt come near me but he has been watching porn and adult channels so now im so low i know what to do its just doing it as i do have lots of good feelings and memories help!!!!!!!!