Ive been in this relationship(If you could call it that) with a guy since September. It started out perfect. We liked the same music, we hung out so much, he'd pick me up from school every day (He was home schooled), and he was just a year older than me. But then in november, i was at my grandparents house and when we were on skype, he decided to shoot himself. Yeah, it was horrible, but he was put in the hospital and got out about a month later.

After, he seemed like a totally different person. He wasnt mean or anything, but he seemed different. But then he went back to normal around christmas time, and stayed that way until about a week before valentines day when we got into a big fight. he said i wasnt a good girlfriend and how his ex was so much better and stuff. I cried for days and days. But then he suddenly wanted me back. Me being the foolish teenager I am, I started dating him again.

Then after valentines day, the abuse started. It had always been play wrestling, or pushing each-other, but he started becoming aggressive with it. then he started comparing me to his ex. Ashleigh wouldnt do this, ashleigh would do this, ashleigh is this, ashleigh is this, you're not. That kinda stuff. I managed to block it out until he started threatening me. "Bitch, if you dont fucking do this im gonna beat the shit out of you" kinda stuff. I really could care less, i mean, he's a scrawny 6'0 kid with hair almost as long as mine. Whats the worst he could do. Then I realized, the kid can hit. The first time he actually 'abused" me per say was in around march, a week or two after my birthday. He slammed me against a wall and slapped me. That, of course, raised a red flag. So I dumped him.

Two days later, he came crawling back to me with the usual. "Baby, im so stupid. I promise I will NEVER do that again." I believed him, sadly. He just started doing it more. I dont get why I let him. I could have fought back. But I didnt. After about a month of it, i was covered with bruises. I just told people im a klutz and i fall down stairs a lot. They bought it most of the time.

The last straw for me was when he broke my nose. My eyes were puffy for days from how hard I cried about that, and I never even told my mom about it. I sat there in pain, and covered my broken nose with makeup so my mom wouldntt find out. I dumped him, but then he started taking control of me, saying I cant do that, and we're still together because he said so. I just ignored him and let him have his way. He tried committing suicide again, and now he's being held in the state mental hospital. But he's STILL pulling the same crap. "im such an ass, im sorry baby, i love you, please take me back" And i kinda feel like i cant say no because the kid's in the hospital.

I never want to, but i keep running back to him. why am i doing this?