I'm just curious how long you have been away for him? I'm so sorry for your pain, I know I would be crushed. It's very difficult when they move on so quickly and we are still picking up the pieces from their aftermath. I hope you can find comfort unknowing that he is obviously using her for money, as it sounds like he may have tried to do to you also? Mine moved straight in with someone else when we split up, made out with over $5000 I'll never see, and I'm bankrupt. But, one thing is, at least they aren't our problem anymore! Sending you a big hug, and try not to let it get you too down!

Don't be sorry. They twist you up and down and all around...

He sounds like he's being a class A manipulator once again. I know how it feels. For some reason, all the men I was involved with wanted me emotionally bankrupt rather than financially, but it's still a very similar feeling of being so 'cleaned out' that it's hard to go on as you were before they came on the scene.

You're upset because he conned you into believing that he wasn't a bad person - and he mixed that into his strategies to take you for all you were worth, so you couldn't consistently tell the thief from the image he presented.

But I know, and crucially, I know YOU know, that you are better off. She WILL end up like you. She WILL get what you got. And it will not be pretty. He is boxing her in, and clearly has already started ripping her off. It will get very bad very quickly once they are married.

So sorry the pain is still there... but take heart. You don't have to be that woman any more! xx

Thanks friends, we were together 5 years and have been apart for 6 months. And in the 6 years split up 3 times. I always worked and guess what, he didn't.

Wow, he's a quick mover also! I totally expect mine to get married quickly also.

I am engaged in the daily struggle of rebuilding my life and in 6 months he is getting married and oh so happy. Really I am not surprised. And right, he isn't my problem any more. He is self centered, lazy and a controller. May he move on. I am trying every day. He told me how, sweet, kind and generous the new one was. I am not any more, sweet or generous. I am trying to take care of me. And I have learned to spot BS and I am still learning.

Sweet, kind and generous???

OK, we can appreciate qualities like that.

But all selfish people like him hear in those words is: VICTIM.

Sad but true... xx

Thanks I am feeling a bit better, but I was totally sick to my stomach and have a headache now. Twisting and twisting, the roller coaster is almost done. I hope he does get married.

I'm sorry you have to go through this Andrea. You said yourself that you know you are better off, so just try and hold onto that thought as you work though this.

Yes the new victim...err, wife...is destined to be taken advantage of. But there is nothing you can do about that. She has to find out for herself.

I hope you feel better soon.

Sitting on the couch and holding the dog is working for me right now. You folks are wonderful.

I'm glad you are feeling a little better.

Also, I do know it hurts, hurts SO much to see them "happy" and moving on while we are still trying to FIND the pieces, let alone pick them up. But what he has proved to you with this phone call is that he is who he is and the way he treated you had nothing whatever to do with you. And that he knows you are too good for him.

You know it has nothing to do with you, because he is already treating the next one the same. Like my ex, he isn't looking for a life partner, he's looking for a cash machine. You could never have been a good enough life partner for him, because he didn't want one - he just wanted the money and control. No failing at all on your part that you weren't "just a cash machine".

And that other point, that he knows you're too good for him? Well he proved that by calling you. If he genuinely despised you and genuinely was happy with his new cash machine, why on earth would he go back and ring you? The only reason someone goes and rings an ex to tell them how happy they now are, is because they are NOT happy, they are still fixated on the ex, and the only way they can make their own pain and unhappiness feel just a little less, is to cause pain and unhappiness to someone else. A sick way of thinking, but a common enough one for abusers.

Hold your head high, knowing that even HE knows he's the loser in all this.

Oh Andrea, really big hugs your way. I am so sorry with what you experienced today.

But you have the right attitude and you will prevail. To much better things to come.

Stay strong. As someone said to here recently, the setbacks we have are usual followed by a good leap in the right direction of healing. I have found this true and hope the same for you.

So sorry you went through
everything you did, including
that phone call.

You were bonded
and that's why
it hurts to
watch him move on
to another "supply."

She's the supply now.
She's the one who's
got his fangs in her throat,
having her life force sucked out.

Now. . . . you're physically detached
from his fangs
but the roller coaster of attachment
keeps us on the ride for awhile.

I hope you'll believe me
when I tell you that
emotional detachment
(while it may take longer),
DOES happen.

Sending you hugs
and wishes for
comfort and serenity.

The only thing an abuser changes are his victims. Be glad he has left you alone. Thank God you wised up. Don't take his abuse of you personally, abusers hate ALL women. Trust me, her money will run out soon enough, and he will be treating her badly, just like you. Go on with your life, and be happy. People like to make things look better than they really are. Don't fall for this. Take care of yourself. You are so much better off without him.

Today I am much better. The support I have gotten here is wonderful. As Liv, said he wants a CASH MACHINE. When mine ran out he moved on and he will do it again. I am so much better off even though life is a struggle right now. Things will get better.