Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Why can't I leave!?

TiinyC
TiinyC

Were looking into moving because the house were currently in is awful! The landlord.. don't get me started! 


My boyfriends mum is keeping an eye out for houses that she sees locally to where I already live, I suddenly came out with "but I don't want to live with your son though" and her reply was "I don't blame you" so I replied with "but it's not going to happen like that though is it" so she replied with, "it might be different once you've moved" which I replied with "I'm not interested". She knows full well her son is a d*ck but always makes excuses so she doesn't have to put up with him back at her house sitting around all day doing nothing. 


The amount of times I've had the opportunity to take my child and go and for some reason when it's come to it I'm scared frozen. The thought of it makes me anxious to where I feel sick, I get as far as packing birth certificates and my tenancy agreement and then I stop, then I think no I need to plan it more.. it's okay running away but he'll find me everywhere I go, he knows where my friends live, my family live. It sounds stupid but I couldn't bare the thought of going into a woman's refuge, it makes me anxious just the thought of it.


Sometimes I wish we didnt have a child together because it would make this all so much easier, I'd of left years ago. My head is an absolute mess today becauae I'm stuck thinking about everything. I don't want to go to court to fight for my child because I know him and his family would drag me to rock bottom and make out I'm the worst mum and that everything is my fault. I just can't baremember it, but I also don't want my son to think this is normal and how you treat women, I shouldn't have to tell my son what daddy does is wrong, it breaks me!!

BareFeetandSoul
BareFeetandSoul
Of course it's hard. All life changing things are hard. It's not leaving that you're afraid of. It's staying away or him staying away from you. Take it one step at a time. Face it, even with fear. It's okay to be afraid, but to do it anyway. Leave, then worry about the next step when it comes. Do you have support? Family to protect you? Are you afraid he will hurt you, harass you? Call the police. He deserves a record so you can protect yourself and your son. I am not sure what the laws are where you live, but you should file an order of protection. Harassment is abuse. I know this is hard. It will get easier. You're doing this for your son. Stop worrying about the boyfriend and his mom. Put your child first. He needs you strong and empowered! Do you have someone you can stay with who will protect you and help you move forward?
TiinyC
TiinyC
Just realised who you are lol. I'm good at giving advice but not good at taking a leaf out of my own book.

I guess I freeze when my anxiety kicks in because I know what kind of person he is and he wouldn't hesitate knocking down friends and my families door to find me, hell he even got in my mums face and told her he'd headbutt her if she didn't get off him for her trying to protect me and her grandchild, he even tried to kick his sisters door down when I was there with our child and her children were there too. I couldn't put anyone through that. He frightens me, even if I left I don't think he'd leave me alone, he talks to me like he owns me, so I'm HIS, if he left it would probably be different but he's clearly stated if I'm unhappy there's the door but the condition is I can't take our child, and I'm not willing to leave without him, because if I do, he'll make it hell for me to see him and he'll be able to call all the shots.