Of course you feel violated and betrayed. And, I suspect that's why you left him in the first place. But, these lingering feelings bring ambivalence ie., could he be different to her, maybe he's changed, wow, he's really moved on and I'm still grieving, etc. I've had all of those feelings and questions.

But, if he was abusive to you, chances are he'll carry this on in his next relationship. He'll also HAVE someone by his side for comfort, whereas you may choose to work out issues independently, rather than falling into the next coupling for appearances or to make yourself feel whole.

These separations are so difficult. But, you've taken charge of your own life and happiness. You'll be much better off if you stick to remembering why you can't be with this man, rather than what he may be giving to this new woman. One day I made a list of those reasons and I've only added to it over time. I don't want to be in that position ever again.

Now, this is easier said than done. As I said, I've gone through it, sometimes imagining that he's found the Happily ever after while I struggled to face my life alone. It bruised me as a woman, a wife, a mother, etc - challenged who I know that I am. But, through all the pain, I moved away from him emotionally as well as physically and legally. It took many steps to separate all these parts.

Have you tried to distract yourself in other ways? Sometimes, when nothing else worked for me, I would change my environment by doing an activity, throwing my concentration into other things so that these troubling images would pass.

just a thought as lots of things can be helpful. You have worth and need time to heal from this split. Concentrate on the long term goals that you can articulate for yourself and maybe the short term will not be so fearful.

Hugs to you, RB

Rosebud hit the nail on the head. He has to have someone else to abuse. I to have seen picture of my happy with his filipino. I to, felt the same way Isha. Now I just say to myself, girl yours is coming. When the honeymoon is over, here it comes. And I feel sorry for her when it does. No-one should have to go through this. I know why she fell in love with him and I know why she will eventually leave him. They never change.

Thank you all..This really helps...Rose you said exactly what I was feeling..I felt that maybe this new girl will give her happiness where I failed and thus got abused..But such people don't change..They only change their victim from time to time...Thanks Tamehau for the support...

In a polite, yet firm way, please tell your sister to STFU. She's making things worse by telling you these things. If she wants to stalk him, fine. But she shouldn't share her experiences with you.

Is she the type that likes to stir up trouble? Seems like it.

I feel as you do alot of times. As a survival method, I had force myself to stop looking at the cell phone bill to see what numbers frequently appeared on the bill. I had to stop going through his wallet looking for receipts etc. Once I moved out, this became so much easier. I know that he is seeing someone or other women now, but I keep telling myself, that I know "what they're getting into". Their results will be my results :)a life of abuse and pain. I just keep reminding myself of all of the pain that he's caused me over the years, and I begin to feel better.

Thanks Scrooched..The reason my sister told me all this is as she knew that somehow the news will reach me and she didn't wanted me to get all upset alone..Rather she was the first one to ask me to get out..about 6 years back but I didn't listen to her..Today also she is one of the few people who are helping me to get out of it as painlessly as possible...
Yes Steve..I have also decided to stop going through his blogs and scraps as it only makes things bad..
Thanks to all the support I have got in this forum..You all have helped me uncountable times...