Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Reading here about what another member's ex is putting her through has given me some much-needed perspective.
I left my ex the last time because he became worse than what he was, and he claimed he was treating me worse for being what he knew I'd always been.
Dang.
I left my ex the last time because he became worse than what he was, and he claimed he was treating me worse for being what he knew I'd always been.
Dang.
He WAS the one getting worse, but in order to redirect attention away from their flaws and leave us feeling too spun around to fight back, they immediately claim we are the problem.
I got this a lot whenever I tried to assert my feelings. Often accompanied by a massive rage attack, which is a narcissist`s automatic response (either internal rage or outwardly expressed) to someone else saying, "Hey, I`m here too. Please consider me."
They try to annihilate our sense of self because they don`t believe anyone apart from them has any right to consideration. That's part of why it`s so hard to separate from them. To them, our feelings, particularly those arising in response to something THEY have done, will be seen as an insult. How dare we imply that they behaved badly?! And anyway, even if they did deprive or punish us, they think we deserve it because of their sense of superiority. So, the responsibility they should take gets boomeranged back at us.
Hugs, and hope your healing keeps progressing xxx
is ssooo complicated.
It takes however long
it takes.
Recovery is seldom
a straight line. It's
more like a zig-zag.
Sometimes it's a
step "backward."
But with self-care
and focusing on
processing and
doing good things
for yourself, healing
really does happen.
Take good care!
On some level you must know this, but there is nothing wrong with who you are. That was his projection.
Cant74deal, once again, I can relate. You described the feeling well. Even though I *know* better, I always *knew* better, sometimes it just doesn't actually register.
IleneW, as always, thank you for your understanding and support. Your words are always comforting.