Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
since the hearing and Him being out of my apartment, I've had 3 bats in my apartment, the dumpster by the building burned to the ground, his mother harassed me about some of his things till I finally brought them over, and last week I received a text message from a number I don't know with the same salutation I used to receive from him. It scared the hell out of me. I was at work, and there it was. I am sure it was him because I did not answer, and I haven't received anything else from that number... yet. I jumped every time I got a text message for the next 3 days. I am not positive it was him, but I am pretty sure. No one else i know would say "Yo" as a hello but him.
I'm sick of this crap. Just when I finally got rid of his snake, and my complex got rid of the Bat roost in my complex, the dumpster burns 3 days after his mom texted me, and he texts me 3 days after that. All of this has happened just in the past few weeks. I KNOW I am strong. I have been though too much not to know that. I swear though it is hard not to feel totally alone, and unsafe when things keep happening. When I can't catch a break!
I just need to feel safe.
I'm sick of this crap. Just when I finally got rid of his snake, and my complex got rid of the Bat roost in my complex, the dumpster burns 3 days after his mom texted me, and he texts me 3 days after that. All of this has happened just in the past few weeks. I KNOW I am strong. I have been though too much not to know that. I swear though it is hard not to feel totally alone, and unsafe when things keep happening. When I can't catch a break!
I just need to feel safe.
I do know how lucky I am though. Today a police officer passed going to a domestic violence call, and there was another shooting in the metro area way too close to home that involved domestic violence. He could have killed me, I know it is in him. That could have been me.. and I thank God every day that I told people and didn't just let him back into my life.
But the good news is that it DOES fade. You are doing the right things and you are getting stronger every day. You are right, you were strong enough to go through the worst of it, this is the aftermath. Sometimes it's even more frightening than when we are still in, for a bunch of different reasons: we don't know what they are up to or where they are or what they are thinking; we are no longer in denial; we are really seeing things more clearly. All those things make this time even scarier (often) than still being with them. But that fear does fade.
Keep on keeping on, is unfortunately the only advice I have. That and the things you are already doing to make your home and yourself as safe as possible.
A few things:
[] If he keeps stalking you
report him (with all details)
to the police.
[] Look into working with a
counselor on the aftermath
of his abuse.
[] Practice SELF-CARE.
Sending you hugs and healing thoughts.
keep your phone close to you at all times. make sure your doors and windows are locked at all times! mention your situation to your neighbours if you can so that they can keep an eye out as well.
document anything that does happen, with the time and date...
and keep your eyes open..
most times, they will give up after a while-especially if you don't make a big deal out of what they do.
when my ex took the car, I had my old neighbour look out her window to tell me that indeed, the car was parked in front of my old house. I never said a word to him. my brother in law lent me his old car, which I've bought now, and it KILLS my ex that I didn't raise a stink (we both owned the car that he took)..
he hates my sister and brother in law for lending/selling me their old car. he wanted me and the kids to be taking the bus in frigid, northern winter here in Alberta...to punish me...
My neighbors have been amazing in all of this as well, it turns out that the neighbor across the hall heard him one of the last nights he was there when he was blocking me from getting in, and the neighbor had his phone and was waiting right on the other side of the door in case he did anything. Neighbor thought about going out there at the time but was worried it might have made it worse, and he would have been right. My being a girl saved me a few times from being punched in the face, and I would have felt terrible if anyone else had been hurt because of me. It was really nice to know that someone was paying attention though.