I've been married for 7 years now with 2 wonderful boys (one from a previous marriage, the other from current marriage). Both of us are Army vets. In the beginning of our marriage everything was ok, no violence but there was emotional and verbal abuse. Over the summer last year, he choked and slapped me. In September (4th to be exact) he pushed me - I pushed him back in self defense - he hit me on the side of my head and made my ear ring for a while. I talked with his parents about it (they are like parents to me) and they convinced me to leave. I gathered most of my clothes and various other things along with my youngest son's clothes and a few toys, that was October 10th. I didn't talk with him for 25 days. I got a new phone and desperate checking accounts. After 25 days I began talking to him again. He apologized and asked me to come home and go to counseling with him. Around the middle of November he was having a procedure done and I came back for that so we could talk and I could see he'd changed (he was a terrible alcoholic). I was there for 3 days - he was the man I fell in love with, it was wonderful. I talked with his mom to see if it would be alright for him to come to their house for thanksgiving - she said ok. Our son was in school - which he loved. When my husband left after thanksgiving I went too - leaving our son with his parents - my mother in law suggested that he & I should live together for a while (making sure his behavior wasn't a front) before our son came back. Everything went fine, until the end of january when my husband began pressuring me to get our son back home with us. I gave in, that was in February. Over the Christmas holidays he managed to mess his sleep schedule up - slept all day & awake all night)its been messed up ever since. He would occasionally get his days/nights fixed but only for a day or so. He is medically retired from the army, so its not like he has a lot to keep him busy. I began going back to school in may. Everything has been pretty quiet - minus the occasional spat - until last night. I know that he can't have aspertane (artificial sweetner - it gives him a headache), but I had used an empty apple juice container to make a peach tea mix in, I labeled it mommy's tea. Apparently at 4 this morning he came into the kitchen and grabbed a cup full of my tea mistaking it for juice. He went OFF on me. He said I should treat it like living with someone who has a peanut allergy and bringing peanuts in the house. I promptly got up, poured the tea down the drain and three the container away. When I went back to bed, he threw my pillow at me and said find somewhere else to sleep. I came into the living room and just sat there. I heard my son call me - he was woken up by the slamming of the bedroom door (husband). Our son played there for a few minutes while I was ordered to the kitchen to find headache meds. When I walked into the kitchen, he was throwing medicine bottles out of the cabinet to find what he needed. Once he found what he needed, he began walking out of the kitchen and pushed me, naturally I pushed him back. He pushed me harder - several times every time I pushed him back in self defense. The last time he hit me across the temple/ear area and my ear began ringing. I started crying, our son walked in the livingroom to make sure mommy was ok. I said no, daddy hit me. After I calmed down and got our son settled, my husband called me into the bedroom to talk, correction for me to get a lecture about how I shouldn't have told our son that daddy hit mommy. I said well its the truth. He thinks that it was wrong for me to tell a 7 year old things like that b/c it could scar him for life. I said well I'm not going to lie to him. He called me a dumb fat a$$ bh and to get out of the bedroom & shut the fg door. Today he's been asleep (I guess) with the bedroom door locked. I've got 2 years until I graduate for college and I can begin teaching. I honestly don't know how much more I can or should take of this crap.... any suggestions??? I don't have the money to file for divorce - yet - but I'm working on that.