Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I posted this on another board and I'm needing some other input as well. Also at the end I will add something because he tried to msg me tonight.
After spending what I thought was a great Spring Break with him and the all the kids he called and told me 2 days later that he was done. His reasoning was because I was too much of a distraction while I was there. He was unable to do some of his homework "because of me" and then brought up an issue with an old friend of his who kissed me 2 1/2 years ago. Instead of talking with me about everything he just told me he was going to call me in a few months and see what was going on. He claimed me being away and not moving back when he told me to was unacceptable. That I've been playing nothing but games. He's also thrown it in my face lately how I'm lazy and pathetic because I live with my father. I'm 31 with 2 children of my own and my dad does Hot Shot trucking so he's here sometimes and sometimes not. I don't have a JOB and I haven't been going to school but I have been cleaning houses under the table and working on yard work with a friend. I don't make much but it helps and gets me by. My dad isn't requiring me to pay anything besides helping with like toilet paper and such that we all use. This wasn't the first time he's broke up with me, he's tried 2-3 times over the last year and half because I left and told him to get his crap together. Each time either he contacts me or I contact him a week or so later and to him it was never over he was just "upset" So last night I called him after it being a week, no answer, left message and he called me back about an hour later. I asked if we're really done, wanted to make sure and apparently this time he's done. He preceded to tell me that I was a slut, he can only imagine how many people I've been with (over his friend kissing me while we were both drunk) how pathetic I am and that I had to have slept with all my guy friends over the years. I am also being accused of not wanting to better myself. Since I'm not going to school (he is now) he feels as tho I am beneath him.
So after being accused of sleeping around and being such a "loser" I am DONE. I will not tolerate being called a slut after bending over backwards to "prove" to him how much I want in this relationship driving over 10k miles, spending over $2000 and who knows how many hours to be with this "man" I will not be told I am something I know I am not. He knows me better than anyone (16 years we've known each other) I deserve better than that crap. I was there for him thru 4 deaths, his court cases for his kids (2 years worth) fought for him, dealt with his seriously crazy ex, paid for his truck and putting all my energy into the relationship. So I am done. No more. He's an ass and I have been repeating to myself F HIM at the top of my lungs (when possible and screaming it inside my head. To keep me pissed off. He's treated me like crap over and over again for the last 8+ years and I am finally done.
I won't stand for being accused of stuff I AM NOT. I am better than that and I am worth more to someone who will really appreciate me for me and what I can offer.
This was written just 2 days ago and the phone call conversation was on Monday. I received this msg earlier from him:
I want you to know i will always love you know matter what......and the other day when called i was not myself...had been drinking and may have been ruder than normal!
Which I take as baiting. Trying to get me to reply but I didn't and don't plan on it anytime soon. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you!
Oh and I wasn't able to get to see a counselor. I don't have any income at the moment so I don't qualify for help to get some. :( Hate the system sometimes.
After spending what I thought was a great Spring Break with him and the all the kids he called and told me 2 days later that he was done. His reasoning was because I was too much of a distraction while I was there. He was unable to do some of his homework "because of me" and then brought up an issue with an old friend of his who kissed me 2 1/2 years ago. Instead of talking with me about everything he just told me he was going to call me in a few months and see what was going on. He claimed me being away and not moving back when he told me to was unacceptable. That I've been playing nothing but games. He's also thrown it in my face lately how I'm lazy and pathetic because I live with my father. I'm 31 with 2 children of my own and my dad does Hot Shot trucking so he's here sometimes and sometimes not. I don't have a JOB and I haven't been going to school but I have been cleaning houses under the table and working on yard work with a friend. I don't make much but it helps and gets me by. My dad isn't requiring me to pay anything besides helping with like toilet paper and such that we all use. This wasn't the first time he's broke up with me, he's tried 2-3 times over the last year and half because I left and told him to get his crap together. Each time either he contacts me or I contact him a week or so later and to him it was never over he was just "upset" So last night I called him after it being a week, no answer, left message and he called me back about an hour later. I asked if we're really done, wanted to make sure and apparently this time he's done. He preceded to tell me that I was a slut, he can only imagine how many people I've been with (over his friend kissing me while we were both drunk) how pathetic I am and that I had to have slept with all my guy friends over the years. I am also being accused of not wanting to better myself. Since I'm not going to school (he is now) he feels as tho I am beneath him.
So after being accused of sleeping around and being such a "loser" I am DONE. I will not tolerate being called a slut after bending over backwards to "prove" to him how much I want in this relationship driving over 10k miles, spending over $2000 and who knows how many hours to be with this "man" I will not be told I am something I know I am not. He knows me better than anyone (16 years we've known each other) I deserve better than that crap. I was there for him thru 4 deaths, his court cases for his kids (2 years worth) fought for him, dealt with his seriously crazy ex, paid for his truck and putting all my energy into the relationship. So I am done. No more. He's an ass and I have been repeating to myself F HIM at the top of my lungs (when possible and screaming it inside my head. To keep me pissed off. He's treated me like crap over and over again for the last 8+ years and I am finally done.
I won't stand for being accused of stuff I AM NOT. I am better than that and I am worth more to someone who will really appreciate me for me and what I can offer.
This was written just 2 days ago and the phone call conversation was on Monday. I received this msg earlier from him:
I want you to know i will always love you know matter what......and the other day when called i was not myself...had been drinking and may have been ruder than normal!
Which I take as baiting. Trying to get me to reply but I didn't and don't plan on it anytime soon. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you!
Oh and I wasn't able to get to see a counselor. I don't have any income at the moment so I don't qualify for help to get some. :( Hate the system sometimes.
As for the counseling issue, stick around here, at least you'll be getting group therapy for free until you can get into counseling.
It's a pain about the counselling, because this would probably help you a lot, but there's a lot of self-help stuff out there - including all the valuable input you'll find in this group.