Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Today was a rough one..In between being sick, depressed and wanting so bad to just slip up and contact the ex with a simple little "Hope your having a Happy Easter." I didn't but it was close. I made myself message my friends on Facebook, an old buddy I had fallen out of touch with who to his credit messaged and texted me back, and I cleaned my house which needed it. I did not go to the family Easter party and I will get guilt over it but my mood was not right for the huge crowd that was there. I will try to have my nephews over or go see them this week when I am not so sad. I tend to isolate and not want people to see me like this. I am a bit proud of myself for NOT calling or texting the ex as holidays are my weakness when it comes to him. I have always felt responsible for his happiness on holidays as his parents did not let him celebrate them and so I tried to make up for it even though he is an adult. I know it is crazy but I always felt sad for the child in him (hard to explain) But he always ends up hurting me emotionally so NC is the only way I can protect me. Sorry for the length ..just needed to vent.
You did GREAT.
Holidays can be
hard in all kinds
of ways. For starters,
they're just not our
routine, and as such,
can be a trigger.
I can totally understand
what you said about feeling
sad for the abuse he suffered
as a child. It's the sweet, human
part of you, the compassionate
part, that tried to make up for
how he was hurt.
The tragic part is that. . . . as
you experienced. . . . he was
unable to respond in any way
but to hurt you. That's the awful
part of the damage left by abuse.
(When we experience abuse in
childhood. . . . and so many of
us have! . . . . . . we who ended
up susceptible to further abuse,
seem to have been able to be
open to healing and recovery.
Those who instead, identified
with the abuser and subsequently
became abusive, seldom seem to
be able to be open to healing and
recovery.)
Good for you, for maintaining
NO CONTACT.
Sending you hugs
and healing prayers.
You did do great and I am proud of you.
You are such a nice person. To bad all he wanted to do was hurt you.
I am happy you are away from him and I really hope you get to the point where you can celebrate not letting him abuse you.
I bet that time is coming. In the mean time. Please take very good care of yourself. You are very special and important.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))