Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
being without him
is better than being with him
i have feelings about him either way, i dont stop thinking/loving him for the man he said he would be
but i gave up on the future w/him he promised
i can have him back any day i want, i can pick up that phone and call him over and i'd be right back to the shitty life he offered to me within a week
i see we all struggle with wanting them to be upset w/losing us, and truth be told we have to learn about why we find them so attractive - why them?
ive learned i like chaos, that im most alive in drama situations, and that on some subliminal level i called him forth to me and if im not careful, i'll be back w/that abusive situation
its like drugs, they cut you down and destroy you slowly, doesnt mean the drug addict doesnt MISS the drug, they just know they can't be together anymore
i will miss him always, but i can never be in a room with him again, i get that now - it came in time - hang in there, there is light at the end of this and understanding and peace I PROMISE- God bless
is better than being with him
i have feelings about him either way, i dont stop thinking/loving him for the man he said he would be
but i gave up on the future w/him he promised
i can have him back any day i want, i can pick up that phone and call him over and i'd be right back to the shitty life he offered to me within a week
i see we all struggle with wanting them to be upset w/losing us, and truth be told we have to learn about why we find them so attractive - why them?
ive learned i like chaos, that im most alive in drama situations, and that on some subliminal level i called him forth to me and if im not careful, i'll be back w/that abusive situation
its like drugs, they cut you down and destroy you slowly, doesnt mean the drug addict doesnt MISS the drug, they just know they can't be together anymore
i will miss him always, but i can never be in a room with him again, i get that now - it came in time - hang in there, there is light at the end of this and understanding and peace I PROMISE- God bless
There is consistency now, the kids know what they'll come home to now. We have to have gratitude in what we have w/o him. Peace.
powerful post.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
healing and
happiness.
I'm truely sorry, I dont want to minimalize the powerful message of your words, but I just experience that it's a lot more difficult to cope being with my ex than actually being with him. The pain, the grief, it simply doesn't seem to be worth it in my perspection. I dont want to reduce the effects of abuse with these words at all, I know it can let behind results of trauma after years and perhaps your whole life, but I truely don't seem to be better off now. I just don't feel this way, I know it should and I am most happy that you did experience that, I just wished I did.
A lot of type mistakes. Sorry, not so sharp today.. sigh.
There is life after abuse. And yes, we do struggle, but with the right help, we begin to heal. I'm not sure we ever get over it completely, but my life is so much better now because I am free to choose not only what I want to make out of my life, but also how I see it.
This doesn't happen over night, or even in a few months. For me it took six intense years of pretty much weekly therapy w/a qualified trauma release therapist. At the three year mark I noticed myself starting to shift. (That was 7 yrs after I left.) Therapy isn't easy, but is it so very worth it.
Thank you for posting this.
~healing hugs~
but i did have my own job/home/car/life/money
so all i had to do was heal myself.......no marriage to him or kids
i understand coping is diff for everyone
i feel for everyone on here w/ties to abusers they cant just walk away from
even so, mine was very wealthy, when it was good it was very good, so i know i stayed way longer than i should and sold my soul too many times for $$......nothing is worth that type of mental abuse, i owe it to my maker to live the best life i can and i am xxoo
Also please look into trauma bonding. It's very common w/those of us who have been abused. And it explains why we feel the way you do.
Here is a link to a post explaining trauma bonding that might be helpful.
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Physical_Emotional_Abuse/forum/19534739-trauma-bonding
~healing hugs~