My motto is self care instead of self harm...Whenever I'm down and am afraid of triggering I do self care. Seems like you're well on your way, watching a good show, deep breathing....my personal things that have worked great for me is drawing (gets emotion out) listening to music that makes you happy, hot tea/coco, cook yourself your favorite dishes, take a nap, gratitude lists, writing about things on your mind, taking a walk, just taking really good care of yourself and remembering that you deserve it. I hope this helps, my dear. I know you are strong and you can handle it. If you need to talk, just shoot me a message. (((hugs)))

My therapist suggested blowing bubbles. It sounds funny but you do the deep breathing without thinking about it. I have found writing helps a lot. I also love to listen to music. With time this gets easier. I have been divorced almost 10 years and it does get easier. I found friends from this site that have gone through the same things. Just knowing that you are not a lone helps so much. I am a great listener message me anytime!

Tink22,

It doesn't sound silly. I actually own bubbles. lol. And I have gone outside and blown bubbles. Not only does it encourage deep breathing, it also causes me to tap into my inner child and relax which is therapeutic for me.

Sunflowerhippie,

Thanks for sharing extra options. I don't know how strong I am. There are days I feel like giving up like yesterday and today. My life for the most has been terrible. Sigh. But nonetheless I push myself to keep going because I have no other choice.

Hmm, I just ran across some bubbles yesterday from when my kids were younger...I think I'll give it a try.

Great suggestions!

I do daily gratitude, listen to guided imagery, breath work, color, finger paint, arts & crafts, etc), sit or walk in nature (this is extremely helpful), do art with mud (lots of fun & cheap too), play w/my cat, journal, meditate, and believe it or not, chanting really helps w/anxiety. There are all kinds of chanting videos on youtube for all different beliefs. I always have bubbles in the house. ;-)

I also sit myself down and ask my inner child what do I want/need? Is it realistic? If so, how can I get it? If not, what can I do to work thru it and/or what healthy thing can I substitute in its place?

And then there's always chocolate. :-)

Great question!

Avoid caffeine and alcohol.

Also try to cook your feelings like a potato. That's taken from Thicht Naht Hanh. He's a monk who writes about just this topic.

So many times, we try to do things to push away the feelings. He says we should take care of them and really look to why we feel this way. Do not be afraid of them- they are our way of protecting us... so when we ignore them b/c they scare us, it's like we're ignoring a little baby's cry. What happens? They cry louder.

Give your feelings 20 minutes to cook like a potato. I bet you'll not get more upset- rather, you'll feel validated and cared for. And after 20 minutes, that trigger will have passed, as will your brain chemistry that caused your fear.

Make sense?

Hugs.

Writing is my therapy. I love to put what I'm feeling or thinking into a beautiful song or poem.

I do something to help someone else.

Absolutely agree with self-care. It's the best thing you can do.

In moments when I am overwhelmed, I do this breath exercise I taught myself to do as a child being abused.

Start by deep breathing slowly, in and out. I find in through the nose out through the mouth works best, but whatever. Close your eyes and picture the clean, cool, healing, bright air moving into your body. Hold your full breath for a moment and let it soak up all your toxic feelings. All your shame, all your hurt, all your fear, all your anger. In my mind the breath turns a thick brownish green color. Then I can POOF blow it away and out of me. I am empty. Then I again breathe in the clean, bright, healing, cool air to every part of my body. Repeat and repeat.

You can also find people to talk to, if you need, online or on the phone. This forum is helpful. I have used Virtual therapy before and found it quite good (and really pretty affordable!) On the free side, I like the website 7cupsoftea, which offers trained listeners. They can be hit or miss, the forums are actually better, but finding a great listener you can go to any time for free is a great tool. In a real crisis, there are phone hotlines for depression and domestic violence that can help get you through.

Good luck!

Interesting that you taught yourself breathing exercises as a child.

I taught myself this sort of meditation/ dissociation sort of thing. Where I would concentrate on the feel of my feet and the feel of the sheets on and under my feet and on up my body.

I virtually never had bad dreams as a child...sleep was my refuge. The nightmares came as an adult. My kids even now say that I talk in my sleep, and I will sometimes wake in a panic.

I won't try to explain, but it's okay now. I can feel it now. For me anyway, it's a luxury to feel it all. There's this feeling that I can never be hurt worse, at a more vulnerable time of my life, by someone closer to me, while being more alone.